


1929

by shinlluminous



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: F/M, High School, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Self-Harm, Teen Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:42:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8252882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinlluminous/pseuds/shinlluminous
Summary: ‘People won’t believe we’re best friends, will they?’ Yuna leaned her head fondly by the crook of Wonwoo's neck‘I think we passed that stage quite a while ago,’ he said, gripping his arms tighter around her waist. ‘Don’t you think?'...A tale of two best friends who may or may not be in love with each other.





	1. Prologue

 

PROLOGUE

 

 

The staticness of the whole view made Yuna’s room look nothing more than a photograph of a very gloomy scene; if not for the rain pattering against the surface of the windows and on the roof. The sound gave less than a calming effect, unusually for the girl leaning against the side of her bed, looking more than fatigued. Her eyes began to sting, her tender cardiac fibres were tearing as she replayed over and over again what she had heard, what was true. Her phone lay idle on the carpet before her. She lowered her head, lying it in between her bent legs. Faint sobs began to louden amidst the loud merciless endless sounds of the rain. Her hands cupped over her head, her breathing gradually turned difficult, stuck and short.

Salty tears trickled down her cheeks as quickly as the rain began to wet the balcony outside her room, faster than she could catch her breaths. The fingers, one adorning a witness of a promise that he broke, trembled and not from the cold. Yuna felt something churning in her stomach. Her sobs took a distracted pause as she raised her head, struggling to swallow her own tears. Her throat was suffocating.

She weakly pushed herself off the floor, legs wobbling, falling back down once before she could lift herself, unsteadily enough to reach her bathroom suite, slamming her body against the door open and landing in front of the toilet bowl. She couldn’t hold it in. What couldn’t she hold in was a question. Yuna hadn’t eaten all day; she knew how harming stress could do to her, so she painfully abstained despite the hunger. She vomited; she tasted the sickening bitterness of the acid in her stomach. She could feel the force pushing the contents forward from inside her tract. She felt her stomach lurching upwards, the unsettling feeling causing her to tremble even more.

Once the nausea resided, she leaned against the bathtub, panting, tears still hot on the rimlines of her eyes. She took several breaths, then slowly stood up, gurgling away the foul taste in her mouth. _This is why he left,_ she reminded herself as she rose her head and saw the creature staring back at her in the mirror; a scared looking woman with tired looking eyes. She was pale, her lips were torn, dry, bitter all the more obviously. She had to squint to see properly. _Who are you kidding?_ She carried herself away.

Silent sobs followed again.

Yuna slid onto her bed in a manner no better, face down as she cried into her sheets. She knew she should be reading, revising or studying right now, but this rare once, she was too overwhelmed. _This is stupid,_ she thought to herself. She wasn’t ready to lose someone she called home. But at least her over-achieving father wouldn’t hear her from across the corridor. The rain was too loud, and unlike her, he was happy in someone else’s arms.

 

 

 


	2. Episode 1

It felt like being in an interrogation room.

 _This is boring,_ Yuna thought to herself as she crossed her arms, her legs swinging calmly outwards and in under the dining table she sat at, the corner of her eyes spotting her father coming inside the dining room from the corridor with her mother following behind, entering after exchanging faint mutterings.

She sat up, clearing her throat.

‘You want to tell her, Hayeon?’ the man asked his wife.

_Oh get over with it already-_

‘You tell her,’ Hayeon stood at the side near the door while her husband sat in front of his daughter, who ran a hand through her tied up black hair, waiting for her father to announce.

‘Yuna,’ he called quietly. She looked at her father. ‘Your mother and I, have decided-‘ he paused, and Yuna waited, with her usual empty eyes, internally urging her father to finish what he had to say. She wasn’t one for drama, and she had always felt like she could challenge her father’s hatred towards it.

 

‘- that we will split.’

 

Yuna’s feet under the table started shaking from restlessness on the carpeted floor, a natural habit of hers. She nodded, without much care.

‘Do you have anything to say?’

She shook her head. She noticed her mother eyeing her before she lowers her head as if in guilt at her daughter’s reaction. ‘And, erm, I-‘ her father stuttered. From  the uneasiness sprawled across his face she assumed what she felt like assuming, and she waited to confirm her gut feelings. ‘-I’ll be remarrying, soon.’ He announced.

_That’s nice._

‘Congratulations, Dad.’ She put up a brief smile before returning to her static unsmiling face and she looked away.

‘I thought you’d talk back, knowing you.’ He was slightly taken aback at her lack of reaction towards the news, but then would rather have it that way than having to deal with teenage drama.

‘You and Mum divorced without me knowing, what makes you think I need to comment on your next marriage?’ she asked.

‘Yuna,’ her mother interrupted, to which her father eyed the daughter of his, the splitting image of his wife on her face.

‘I’m happy for you two, that’s all I can say. What we had was nice, but it’s gone. I’m not going to beg you two to get back together or hold you from finding another woman. I’ll just help any way I can. That’s all,’ she stood up. ‘I’ll miss you, Mum.’ She forced a smile and hugged the woman by the door, who held her tight. ‘I need some fresh air,’ she said when she let her mother go, leaving her parents in a more awkward situation than she herself was in.

_Some people say I let go of things too easily. I give them up without fighting. That’s just because it’s not worth it. But when I do, I cry blood and come back with scars._

Yuna was tired, physically.

When her father called informing her that he would come to pick her up from her dorm, she was busy studying. She rarely came home for weekends, but this ocassion was different, and turned out not to be the best either.

It was a little upsetting to her that her parents could visit her brother during his days training under a music agency once a fortnight, but struggled so to see her that she only remembers seeing them twice, excluding school breaks.

_Now I know why._

She thought of sleeping in, but she didn’t want to stay at home.

_I’ll just go there instead._

She barely got any sleep last night. Now the streets were empty, the sky was a bright pale blue with soft swirls of white, but the roads were just starting to wake and yawn and stretch. It was an early Saturday morning. Not many people were out. Shops weren’t even opened yet.

Her legs were tired. Yuna twisted her neck, hearing the crack in her bones. She yawned, not bothering to cover her mouth. It was a short walk, several crosses through parks before she reaches another area of apartment residences.

 

 

*

 

 

‘Get up, shit head.’ Jisoo smacked his little brother’s head with a pillow, hard.

‘Ow,’ Wonwoo groaned, shifting his head but only turning it, rubbing the back of his head. He barely even woke up.

‘Someone’s waiting downstairs,’ Jisoo threw the pillow on his brother’s head again. ‘And Mum’s asking why you’re not at school,’ Jisoo said. Wonwoo groaned again, this time, his ears hearing  a little properly. ‘Oh, sorry, she’s already here.’ Wonwoo heard him saying.

‘Who even-‘ Wonwoo pressed the pillow over his head before he pulled it away and forced himself up, rubbing his eyes tiredly before he looked towards the door, only to find it close. ‘Wha-‘ he could really use a couple more hours of sleep.

He got off the bed, stretching his back as he did befor he pulled his t-shirt which he had flung on the chair by his desk, pulling it on before he proceeded to open the door and see who exactly had come so early in the morning to pay him a visit. Was it his teacher?

Wonwoo almost jumped back when he opened the door and found a woman standing in front of his room in the hallway. He squinted his eyes. She was looking towards the floor before she looked up at him. ‘Yuna?’ he called.

She raised an eyebrow at him, her lips in her usual habitual frown. ‘Why aren’t you at school?’

‘Er-‘ he coughed. ‘- _you’re_ looking for me-‘ he pointed to himself. ‘-and now _you’re_ asking me that?’ he made a confused face at her. ‘Did you switch bodies with my mum?’

‘No,’ she looked away like an annoyed, spoiled kid. A face Wonwoo hated much. Or rather found himself getting irritated with no matter how many times she did it. ‘I wasn’t exactly looking for you. I was going to tell your mum I left something here,’

‘Uh, right. Okay-‘ he made way for her, but she didn’t seem to be listening to him.

‘But since you’re here-‘ she stepped forward and put both her arms around him, taking him by suprise.

Jisoo was passing by, with a plate of fritters in his hand, one piece in his mouth and he walked past Sasha’s back, looking up and down with one eyebrow up at Wonwoo as if he had just seen his little brother in glittery pink gym tights. Wonwoo held up a middle finger at him and Jisoo only rolled his eyes before disappearing into his room. Seeing his brother bound by the arms of his childhood friend was nothing of his pleasure. If he stayed a little longer he migh just lose apetite.

Wonwoo looked down at her, leaning her head by his chest and he, awkwardly, and uneasily, tried to find where to settle both his hands as he wrapped his arms around her, and he placed them on her back. ‘Hey, um, Yuna-‘ he called. ‘-I just woke up. I haven’t bathed yet, so I-‘

‘Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I’ll let you sleep in after this, I promise.’

‘And when will that be. . .?’ he asked. Yuna merely shrugged. ‘Ooookay then,’ he pulled her in, not wanting his brother to see them again and he closed the door. ‘So what did you leave?’ he naively asked.

Yuna sighed. ‘That was just an excuse, you bimbo.’ She said.

‘What’s a bimbo?’

‘A pretty idiot,’ she answered.

‘I’m not-‘

‘Shh,’ she shushed him.

‘Excuses, huh?’ Wonwoo muttered to himself. ‘You can do that?’

Yuna merely shrugged. ‘I came because-‘ she let go of him, her eyes unsteady. ‘I don’t want to stay at home,’ she said, with slight fear in her voice that Wonwoo might snap back at her, perhaps lecture her for “running” from home.

He pulled her hand and gestured her to sit on the bed with him. ‘Why?’

‘Mum and Dad-‘ she huffed. ‘-they broke up.’ Her shoulders sagged. Wonwoo’s eyes widened a little. Yuna’s parents had always sounded so romantic from her lips. Good parents, he acknowledged, by the way they brought her up properly and weren’t particularly fond of her being friends with him.

‘I-I’m  sorry to hear that,’

She shook her head. ‘Nah,’ she let it go. ‘I guess I was just too far away to realize it coming,’ she said. ‘I guess things are going to be happier for them, yeah?’ she added.

 _Happy for them, what about you?_ He wasn’t sure whether her lack of reaction was because of an inner chlid, or her thinking none about herself a thought for those beyond her years.

‘Wait a minute,’ Wonwoo ran to the door and opened it, sticking his head out. ‘Mum! Can I skip school today?’

‘WHAT WAS THAT? YOU WANT ME TO COME UP AND GIVE YOU A PIECE?’ Yuna heard Wonwoo’s mother’s voice from downstairs, and she barely blinked nor flinch.

‘But Yuna’s had a bad day!’ he said before saying, ‘Yay! Thanks, Mum! I love you too,’ and he shut the door before returning to Yuna’s side. ‘So, when did this happen again?’

‘This morning,’ Yuna answered.

‘Ouch. Does Jongin know?’ he asked.

‘Yeah,’ Yuna ran a hand through her hair. ‘You don’t mind right?’

Wonwoo gave her a stare. ‘Yuna, you’ve been coming here for years. My mum _loves_ you. Jisoo keeps asking when you’re going to move in. D’you think I mind?’

‘Just asking,’ she said before yawning again, careless enough not to cover her mouth, and which Wonwoo gladly used his hand instead, watching her with his sleepy eyes. His hand was big over her mouth.

‘Tired?’ he asked.

‘Is it that obvious?’ she rubbed her hands over her face. Wonwoo tapped his bed twice. ‘But you’re the one who’s supposed to go back to sleep,’ she protested.

‘Then let’s both sleep in,’ Wonwoo got her to shift to one end of the bed as he lied down, facing the ceiling. Yuna looked at him before she followed suit. She breathed heavily.Wonwoo looked at her, how tired her eyes seemed when she looked up and she shut them.

‘I don’t want to go back home,’ she muttered as Wonwoo kept his gaze on her.

‘You don’t have to,’ he answered in a low voice.

‘Really?’ she was always childish around him.

‘Why do you hate it there?’ Wonwoo turned his body to face her, watching her slow breaths.

‘I don’t,’ she answered. ‘I just. . .like it better at school I think,’

‘But you said it’s hell over there,’ Wonwoo recalled her describing what her boarding high school was like. She had nothing much to say except it.

‘A fun hell,’ she added. ‘Isn’t training like that too?’ she looked back at him. ‘Tiring but fun and exhausting yet exciting all at the same time?’

‘I guess,’

‘Must be cool,’ she smiled, her eyes squinting small as she did. ‘Do you get to meet artists all the time?’ she asked.

‘Sometimes,’ he pulled her hair back.

‘We won’t be able to meet often when you debut,’ she thought, frowning a little as she closed her eyes.

‘Come watch me,’ he said. ‘On my first stage,’

‘I’ll cheer the loudest,’ she told him.

‘Promise?’

She nodded, and soon enough, drifted off to sleep. Wonwoo watched her static lips, and he slid to her a pillow to hug, to which she, by reflex, took it like a child, pressing her face against it. _Such a child,_ he thought to himself. He wondered why anybody could ever consider her twice her own age, but perhaps. . . _yeah,_ Wonwoo thought to himself. He’s seen two sides of her; the sleeping baptized child and the 27-year old woman who’s seen it all. _Fascinating. . ._ he laid a hand on her head, softly tapping, stroking her head for a while before he decided he wanted to attend classes after lunchtime, then come back to her.

Except that it never happened.

There was no Yuna sleeping soundly in his bed. There was never her knocking on the door of his house. Wonwoo  stared blankly at his ceiling. _What kind of dream was that?_ He was remorseful that the dream had ended, remorseful that it was even a dream at all. Why was God torturing him like this? Giving him temporary illusions that felt so real; Wonwoo recalled the warmth from Yuna’s body. What devil was playing tricks with his mind?

He curled his fist, then threw it to the wall just beside his bed in a fit of anger. There was a loud thud, and his knucles barely felt a thing. ‘Whoa, Jesus christ -‘ he heard his dormmate, Hansol  on the bed above him. _Great._ Of course he wasn’t at home. Of course he was in the dorm. _Fuck you. Fuck everything._ He wanted to rip his hair out of his head. He gave a long frustrating sigh. He slid his hand under his pillow, grabbing his phone to check the time. It was only 6:03am.

 _Still early,_ he glanced the other way. The bed beside him was empty. Seungcheol must still be out, writing lyrics or training. He scrolled his phone. Jongin had left one message through Line. He opened their private conversation:

My parents decided to split.

Sent at 00:07am

                                               I’m so sorry to hear that.What happened? You alright?

Sent at 2:21am

Nah it’s alright. I’m not sure what happened.

I’m worried about Yuna though.

Sent at 5:17am

 

 

He tossed his phone away. No wonder he had been dreaming about Yuna. Obviously like any other nights he felt like he missed her so damn much he’s been unconsciously comforting himself imagining how happier life would be if she was still in town and still so close to him. He guessed though, he couldn’t really blame her. He was the one who had initiated the argument the day she was heading off to boarding school. But he didn’t want to think about that. Not now anyway.

_Fuck this, I might as well sleep._

Wonwoo kept staring into space as he tried to rid himself of the thoughts of Yuna; of the dream. He’d doze off real soon, he hoped. He needed just a few more hours of sleep. He heard Hansol jump off from his bunk bed and out to the living room.

‘Seungcheol?’ he called out. ‘Is he still at the company?’ Wonwoo heard his voice echoing out into the vast space of the entire dorm.

‘He’s out to meet his girlfriend,’ Wonwoo heard another voice answer; that was probably Jihoon already up.

_Yuna?_

The urge to get up and run just to see her made him lurch forward, but he came to an immediate stop.

 _That’s right._ His _girlfriend, not yours._

Then Wonwoo lied back down again, gritting his teeth.

_Fuck you, Yuna._

He ran his hands down his face, the frustration causing him to sigh yet again. An image of Yuna staring back at him appeared faded inside his head. An image of what happened that day. The park behind her seemed warped and lost of its colours. Yuna’s eyes seemed less than lively. It was silent, inside his head, but her expression was loud. That moment traumatized him. The way she turned away and shook her head calmly, taking step by slow step farther away from him.

He had chased her, literally, after a fit of anger, and after she had disappeared. Once she was out of his sight only did he realize that could be the very last time he saw her. So he chased her. But of course, she was swiftly fast. By the time he reached her house, panting, the only thing he could catch was a glimpse of her father’s car speeding off with her in it.

And he felt like he had lost her forever.

 

 


	3. Episode 2

Seungcheol would have bet their meeting would be a silent one. Yuna had never been one to talk much; at least not since she moved to a boarding school. He was surprised to see her standing outside of the building Seungcheol was training in, just looking at him from outside the glass wall with such an empty expression early in the morning. It was a surprise enough that she was back at all. He had always kept track of long holidays and the next time she was supposed to come back was a month away.

He leapt out of the seat he had comfortably found himself in and came to her. ‘What are you doing here?’

Yuna merely shrugged without looking at him. Empty expressions always meant that Seungcheol was supposed to worry about something. It was frustrating enough that he had to figure it out himself; and not because Yuna wouldn’t say a word. Sometimes she didn’t know what was wrong with her, or if there was anything wrong in the first place. Effectors reacting faster than receptors, that was what it was like.

‘Are you sick?’ Seungcheol pressed the back of his hand on her forehead. She had no temperature, and she barely looked sick. Yuna shook her head. ‘You came back alone or your father-‘

‘Dad,’ she simply answered. Seungcheol nodded. ‘Are you working?’

‘Just a bit,’ he replied. ‘Nothing busy. Do you wanna go somewhere?’

‘Wherever close is fine,’ her voice was strangely quiet. ‘You don’t have schedule?’

‘Not today, no.’ he smiled warmly down at her. ‘When are you going back?’

‘Sunday,’

Seungcheol gave it a thought before he went back inside to tidy his things. He walked hand in hand with her to the street across. It was early and there were very few cafes that opened 24 hours, but this one was Seungcheol’s favourite. He was a familiar face to the owner of the cafe, as were others who worked at the company. Seungcheol made sure Yuna settled down at a table; she had picked one at the back, the way she always does (it gave her a little sense of privacy, something she had always treasured) – before he went to order her a hot drink. He could almost bet she hadn’t eaten anything yet.

‘Girlfriend?’ the cashier who attended Seungcheol was familiar enough of this particular permanent customer.

Seungcheol merely scoffed a smirk as he tried to hide a smitten smile.

‘She’s pretty,’ the other added before giving back Seungcheol’s change and his drinks. He returned to Yuna, who had grabbed a magazine to read, or rather to flick through its pages blankly without particularly admiring or reading anything. When she noticed Seunngcheol walking towards her, she pushed the magazine away.

‘Here,’ he placed the cup of hot chocolate in front of her.

‘Thank you,’ she placed her hands around it, the heat melting the numbness inside her frozen fingers.

‘Cold?’ Seungcheol shifted closely beside her. Slowly he took her tender hands into his, breathing into them calmly, rubbing his relatively stronger fingers against her cold skin as she gazed at the face of this man. Her deep eyes traced his facial features, though from the the way he was hanging his head low, it was distracting. She took in the shadows that made creases at the corners of his nose, his black eyes.

It had only been a mere eight months ever since they started talking to each other; a decision she had never regretted. From a visit to a cafe owned by her best friend’s aunt, who would have thought she would ever catch the attention of a young man three years her senior. Seungcheol had been a barista himself before Yuna was admitted into a boarding prep school. She had caught his attention in particular because he thought it was rather strange for an adult woman to order nothing but lemonade on all of the times she came to that cafe; until he finally found out she was only 14. That was a year and a half ago.

Yuna and her best friend came there too often to the point Seungcheol knew by heart what her favourite drink was, her favourite cake. He would always be waiting at 5pm around the time she would stop by with her friend after school on her way home. The more he looked at her, the 17-year old Seungcheol, the more he noticed the child she was. He could remember so well the Yuna then. Seungcheol had moved to Seoul to pursue his dreams of becoming a musician, and he was working towards it. Three months after Yuna’s high school year started, Seungcheol quit working because the company had decided to put him in intense preparation for debut.

What six months did to her was amazing; Seungcheol was smart enough not to mistake it as nothing but the works of nature, or so we call puberty. He’s seen enough though little, of the world he lived in. He knew this was aging by pain. Though Yuna looked very much her age, there was something different about her eyes, about the rarity of her voice. The joy in the bags under her eyes were fading, her smile were less than likely excited.

Her hair was growing longer and Yuna couldn’t care much about trimming it shoulder-length. She must be too busy with her study to care. She’s almost awake whenever Seungcheol calls her. Although being a trainee himself, Seungcheol knew what it meant being up in the wee hours of the morning practicing, dancing, writing lyrics, training until he greeted the sunrise. He understood what it must be like studying at an elite school; the peer pressure, the exaggerated expectations. It was all the same, except Yuna’s loss of sleep was for something more academic. Seungcheol doesn’t want to worry about her too much, but she was younger and well, maybe he cared about her more than he should.

‘Thanks,’ she said once Seungcheol stops warming her fingers. ‘How’s training?’ she asked.

‘All the same,’ he leaned his arm on the bench behind Yuna, a hand constantly stroking her black hair.

‘You don’t sleep that much do you?’ she guessed.

‘How’d you know?’ he smiled amusingly.

‘Your eyes,’ she smiled back. ‘Even your hair’s not as organized as normal,’ she fixed his blonde strands. ‘Wait, you-‘ she suddenly realized he hadn’t gone back to the dorm yet and had been working since last night when she saw him at the company building.

‘It’s fine. I don’t have schedule today,’

Yuna knew it was no use arguing with him, a frown replacing her light grin. ‘But you look so tired,’

‘So what about you?’

‘Me? School’s okay...I guess.’

‘No,’  Seungcheol looked at her. ‘You rarely come out to see me this early without telling me.’ He noticed how she averted her eyes, how she was about to speak up but he continued ‘And don’t think of lying, you looked awfully sober just now.’

‘I-‘ she shook her head, sighing. Seungcheol didn’t lift his eyes off her, he maintained the same patience as he waited. Yuna clasped her lips. She was bad with verbal expression that included anything about her personal thoughts. She was a fine student of anything abstract and literature, but she lacked its practice. ‘It feels weird,’ she looked back at him. ‘School still feels so...foreign and-‘ she fiddled with her hands, looking down. ‘-it’s starting to feel like that at home too,’

‘Did something happen?’ Seungcheol questioned further. Their relationship had started straight with each other being in two distant districts; both of them barely knew the other’s family, and rarely they ever discussed about them. Seungcheol sometimes talks about his older brother and parents, but Yuna was a bit more reserved than he was. Yuna shook her head.

‘I don’t know what’s different, it’s just-‘ she shrugged. ‘-maybe it’s just me.’

‘Is that why you came? You felt...out of place?’

‘I came at a bad time, didn’t I?’ guilt was sprawled on her face.

‘No, of course not.’ He stroked the top of her head. ‘I kind of... missed you anyway,’ He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. It was comforting, being enveloped in a mix warm air of his cologne and the smell of freshly-brewed coffee and hot chocolate. ‘Why does it feel like it’s been so long at school when I’ve just started,’ she muttered.

‘It must be hard, isn’t it?’ he tightened an arm around her. Yuna slid her fingers in between his.

‘I can’t wait for term break,’ she huffs. ‘Don’t you have a holiday when you get to go home?’ Yuna lifted her head.

‘They do sometimes when it’s not too busy. But not now,’ he smiled warmly at her. He didn’t want her to worry; it was enough that she was struggling through her first year in high school. His phone began to vibrate in the pocket of his coat, and Seungcheol pulled it out. He was getting a call from Hansol.

‘Yeah?’ he picked up. Yuna stretched her neck. She slowly sipped on her hot chocolate as she waited for Seungcheol to finish his call. ‘Hey,’ he said as he hung up. ‘The boys want to practice today,’ he informed.

‘Okay,’ she nodded.

‘I’ll be free tonight. So I’ll see you then?’

‘Sounds great,’ she agreed and Seungcheol ruffled the top of her hair before he got up. He waved at her as he jogged out of the cafe with his drink and Yuna sat in silence as she thought of how to go about her day.

 _What would it be like if we’re still like this after he debuts?_ Yuna gave it a questioning thought. She barely knew much about the rules and regulations imposed on a teen idol; but she could bet there was lot of concealing done to hide most personal affairs from the general public. Heck, she knows three people who has headed towards the celebrity scene. It seemed a little scary for her sometimes.

Who knew she would end up being intimate with the barista from her once favourite cafe?

He always seemed a little too brotherly; and Yuna could have guessed how that had made her comfortable around him far too easily. She scrolled down the contacts in her phone, debating with herself whether or not she should mention anything of the divorce to her older brother, who was miles away from her in Los Angeles. She was sure he knew before she did. She just wasn’t sure whether or not it was worth talking about; yet. He must busy over there, pursuing his dreams in music. He used to be a trainee, just like Seungcheol, but he bailed out after earning a scholarship that was offering to sponsor him in music studies in America.

The idol life wasn’t for him, he told Yuna.

He wanted to be free and do whatever he liked without being chased down or pinned against obsessive fans for something so minor, and without having to hide. Their father had protested; in fact he had protested the moment her brother announced that a well-known entertainment agency had accepted him as one of their trainees. He said it was worthless, but thanks to their mother’s negotiating, he got to train for at least three years, until he came back announcing he wanted to fly to Los Angeles to pursue his music dreams there instead.

At that point, it was nothing but a heated argument between a son and his father; and little Yuna had been upstairs at the corridor pretending to read a book while she listened to every single word exchanged between the men in her family. The very next week, Yuna no longer saw her brother again.

‘He said he’ll call you as soon he gets there, okay baby?’ her mother whispered to her when she started crying alone in her room, weighing the odds of ever seeing him again. When was that? Two years ago? She remembered not wanting to go back home because he wasn’t there anymore. She remembered more arguments echoing downstairs. She remembered coming home less and less, staying home less and less.

And where had she ran to all this while?

 _What happened?_ Yuna wondered. After her brother ran for the States, all eyes were on her. Jongin was a failed experiment in her father’s eyes, and she was the next and last option. When he left, God knows how much it hurt his ego, his ambition-driven lust; he had to see at least one of his kin grow up to be who he choose to raise them as. Of course it all fell on Yuna. ‘Number one, no less.’ She remembered hearing those words before every exam. She remembered losing marks in her papers – normal, it was, for what odds was it for her to score full marks in all her subjects? – and being told to correct her wrong answers in front of her father.

One wrong step, one wrong working out and it was more and more questions. She remembered waking up with sore fingers; waking up to her more sympathetic mother with panicking eyes, a regretful voice. Her coarse hands would stroke her head, waking her up for school, and for a while it was the same routine day by day. Yuna became more sober as time passed, more uninterested in the things that used to excite her. And once she sensed her father had trusted her to not grow up to be what Jongin was, he stopped supervising everything she did. She could breathe a little better, but that was it.

She still turned out to be what he wanted to be, on the surface at least; vying for nothing but perfection, not just the top rankings, but those 100s on her papers. It drove her a little insane during her senior year in middle school and her mother had to force her to eat and to calm her down every time she started panicking after receiving her results. Putting Yuna to sleep was a struggle that one time she scored a B+ in her Science. The mother cried throughout the night the moment Yuna finally fell into a deep sleep. What anger she kept against her husband must have been great, yet contained.

The temporary mental state she was in seemed to be nothing existing after she recovered. The girl didn’t know what compromise had her father agreed to with her mother, but she was allowed (encouraged, rather) to relax more. She began engaging in other activities again, began to play sports again, play games again, made more friends again. Who knew what she would be like now if she kept succumbing herself to such a toxic psychology? Yuna didn’t.

She stared expressionlessly at her phone screen before her phone vibrated in her grasp at an incoming text message.

Somehow she knew he would show up somehow.

 

*

 

There was a time they were always together.

Wonwoo’s mother was rather excited hearing the news that they were about to welcome new neighbours. For someone who was rather talkative, it was something to look for. But Wonwoo couldn’t care less. Not even when his mother told him the new neighbour’s daughter was going to the same school as him.

It was Autumn 2007.

‘Why is she in this grade when she should be in third?’ someone had asked the first day his new neighbour came to school.

‘Because she’s skipped a grade back in her old home and she’s smart enough to be with us,’ the teacher had smiled calmly. Wonwoo stared at his new deskmate. She seemed sweet. She was enthusiastic enough when she mentioned her name. What was it again? Kim Yura? ‘So Yuna will be learning the same things with all of you. Help each other out, okay?’

_Right. Kim Yuna._

 

*

 

‘You’re back,’ there was a tinge of joy in his mother’s voice when Wonwoo arrived home one day, and he hadn’t thought much of it until he stepped into the kitchen from the back door of their house to find Yuna looking down, seated at the dining table. ‘Her parents are out so she’s staying here until they come back,’

‘Oh,’ was all a reply Wonwoo could give.

‘Why don’t you take her upstairs to your room?’ she suggested. Wonwoo didn’t want to. I mean, she was a _girl._ But he wasn’t about to go against his mother just yet, so he looked at Yuna, who looked back at him, and he nodded at her awkwardly for her to follow him. Yuna consented in silence, following him up the narrow staircase that led them upstairs to the first room in the corridor.

Wonwoo unwillingly welcomed her into his room; he did well to put it aside and try to make her feel comfortable. Yuna looked around the place. Wonwoo’s room was moderately wide and neat. ‘Is that a PSP?’ she glanced over at the top of Wonwoo’s drawers.

‘Uh, yeah.’ He answered. ‘You play?’

Yuna nodded. Wonwoo wasn’t exactly expecting an answer. He reached out and gave it to her, permitting her to use it as she liked before he gestured her to sit on his bed beside him. Surprisingly, she played really well, which amazed him frankly. He has never seen a girl play console games in his life before, so seeing Yuna swiftly beat his high scores was a light slap to his face.

Since then on, he was sure he would never stop looking at her.

 

The next two weeks was joy for Wonwoo. He had made a new friend; classes were no longer boring. He had someone to look forward to in school, and the best part was that they would still be together even after school ends. Yuna would still have no one to welcome her at home; her mother had took up a job at a private hospital and her brother would only finish class at 4pm. So Yuna would walk back home with Wonwoo to his house and spend the few hours she had until someone came home in his room, playing his games with him, too distracted to eat the food his mother would cook for them until her brother arrived and picked her up so that he could take her back home.

 

For a while, they had been always together.

 

 

But not anymore.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Episode 3

 

 

**January 2013, Seoul**

 

Wonwoo spotted Yuna running from a distance towards him. He had been sitting on a swing, waiting at an empty playground. It was too cold to play outside, anyway. Not to mention rather too early. He started slowly swaying back and forth in silence, earphones plugged into his ears. At least music could help time run a little faster, but Wonwoo couldn’t help constanly glancing down at his watch, wondering when Yuna will arrive.

She was running close to 9 minutes late, which was unusual for her. Most of the time it was always Wonwoo who arrived later than her, but Yuna never complained, not even if she had to wait an hour. He wondered how she kept so patient and smiled every time he came late; it was hard for him not to blow now that it was her who was late.

‘I’m sorry,’ Yuna was panting as she ran in his direction, a slanky girl in a black longcoat and red plated scarf, fitted black pants and her hair tied up. Her voice was muffled; the thick woolen scarf was wrapped up to her nose. ‘I’m sorry I’m late,’ she tried to catch her breath. Wonwoo looked up at her, rather blankly.

‘Where were you?’ he stood up.

‘Seeing someone else,’ she said.

Wonwoo sighed, turning around as he took two steps farther from her.

‘W-Where are you going?’ Yuna was startled at his turned back.

‘Seungcheol?’ he guessed. She raised a suspicious eyebrow as she began to analyze his movements.

‘Y-Yes,’ she answered. She waited for his reply, an intent gaze on him, on every sound he made amidst the calm sound of the distant winds. She heard him letting out a frustrated exhale.

‘You know, if this was so hard, you could have just said you didn’t want to see me.’ Wonwoo said. Yuna didn’t avert her eyes at all.

‘But I want to see you,’ Yuna protested.

‘Bet you wanted to see him more,’ Wonwoo turned to her. Something was burning inside him despite the cold weather, and he was more than stubborn to admit it, especially to himself, and definitely to Yuna. He hates that name; Seungcheol. He loathed it. It seemed to him that the first moment Yuna mentioned him, he never stopped listening about him ever since. Or at least, he tries to tell himself that when in truth, she rarely ever spoke about him at all. Still, he knows every time she’s out, half of the time she was probably seeing him. He knew that, and it was annoying.

Yuna looked down for a moment, rolling her eyes. ‘So that’s what you’re mad about? That I went to see him?’ she looked back at him.

‘What? No, I-‘

She looked away,  knowing it was excuses but Wonwoo was still the one in denial. ‘Ever since you met him, we’re not even that close anymore,’ he shrugged. ‘And you don’t even notice that,’

‘I did,’ Yuna cut him off. ‘You think I’m that stupid to not notice you ending our conversations because you were pissed? You think I can’t tell when you get irritated after I tell you what I’ve been up to? We’re not as close as we were because you kept pushing away,’

‘You’ve known him for just two months and you guys are already hooking like nobody’s business,’ he smirked.

‘What?’

‘I get it, alright? He’s charming-‘

‘Wonwoo-‘ Yuna

‘-not to mention smart and good at talking. What girl wouldn’t drop everything for someone like that?’

Yuna’s lips trembled as she stared at him, completely speechless. His words has ripped her off every emotion; she was merely standing surviving on her rationale. Her eyes grew more and more deep. She didn’t move an inch. Wonwoo saw it; after such a long delay from his anger, the hurt in her eyes. Only then he realized he had crossed the line.

‘Thanks,’ Yuna nodded, scoffing a grin – the type that breathed disappointment – her lips were parted, but she had no more to say, or perhaps she did but she knew better, at least better than Wonwoo did not to lash out as easily as he did. ‘This is where we say goodbye then,’ she said, turning around, paces calm, her lips silent. But her heartbeats, God knows how unpeaceful they were.

But there was no use talking.

‘Yunie, wait-‘

She didn’t listen to him. She couldn’t stand it anymore. Wonwoo  watched as she got farther away from him as he stood frozen, conflicted with himself. ‘Fuck!’ he kicked the ground hard, his chest rising and falling heavily. ‘Fuck you!’ he snapped, pulling off his beanie and running an angry hand through his black hair, gritting his teeth. He looked out to the direction Yuna went. She was gone, and he kept on debating with himself whether he should chase her or not. It was a battle between ego and guilt, pride and desire.

_You sure you wanna let her run away?_

He looked towards the distance as if she would still come back.

He took a deep breath. _Don’t go._

‘Yunie...’ he drifted into the pleasurable thoughts of her, carried away by the currents of his feelings for her. His feet took him through the corners and turns she took. He needed to go after her. He needed to tell her. He can’t lose her. He just can’t.

Yuna picked up speed as she walked on further. It barely helped her lose her restrained temper. She walked fast on a usual basis, and she walked even faster then. The world around her didn’t seem to exist for that brief moment. She had a trip to catch and it wasn’t a measly one-hour trip. If he didn’t want to prolong their meeting then she would be more than glad to be gone from this goddamned city she used to call home.

If everyone was going to leave, why should she stick around?

 

*

 

Walking into an empty house was a little foreign for the 16-year old Yuna, but she kept her lips shut. She noticed the absence of her father’s car; the view of neatly piled cardboard boxes in the living room demanded not much of a sudden digestion to do. She would get a little emotional, but it would come later. For now, she was as calm as a lake.

She caught the sight of her mother taping a box in the kitchen before labelling it with a marker. ‘Do you need help?’ Yuna asked as she stood by the door.

‘It’s okay. This is the last one,’ she smiled at her daughter, fixing her short hair as she got up from the floor.

‘Where’s Dad?’ she was a little curious.

‘He had an urgent meeting,’ the woman simply answered. Yuna looked down at her watch. It was only a quarter past 8 in the morning. ‘Are you hungry?’ she headed over to the kitchen. ‘I reheated leftovers from last night,’ she looked at her blank-minded daughter.

‘T-That would be nice,’ she followed her to the dining room, helping her mother serve the table for two in unwanted silence. Yuna had always adored her better than her father. She was a contrast to the man; a more supportive, flexible woman independent in her own right. She was the one who always put forward Yuna and Jongin’s wants in every matter. She was the calm one, the quieter half. Perhaps the contrast was a little too much for the both of them to stand.

‘What’s going to happen now?’ Yuna asked as they sat facing each other, eating quietly. She used to be very loud with her; but the grim atmosphere following news of the divorce wasn’t exactly exciting to take.

Her mother inhaled as she put down her spoon. ‘I’m moving districts, as you can see.’ She didn’t dare look into her daughter’s eyes as she said this. ‘I’m moving down south near the coast perhaps,’ she added. ‘There’s also issue about custody,’

Yuna raised her head. _Of course._ It would be one or the other now. The family had been splitting apart ever since Jongin and it was going to continue. ‘Your father has the better hand in this,’ she grinned sadly. _Of course he does,_ Yuna considered the factors. Both her parents were healthy, independent, careered individuals. Neither of them were abusive in the eyes of the law, but her father was of course a little more ahead in the economic status game, and knowing him, he would probably have other tricks up his sleeve to make sure Yuna stayed under his guardianship.

She licked her lips; apetite lost.

‘He’ll let me see you, won’t he?’

‘Of course he will,’ her mother tried to reassure her. Her father wouldn’t be _that_ cruel, but Yuna wouldn’t be too sure. Whatever it was, if there were rules, she could break it. It didn’t matter either way; she would always have her way somehow or he would be forced to watch her ruin herself. He’s seen her once, but Yuna wasn’t too sure if he needed to be shown again what a monster he could make of her.

‘It’s really happening,’ Yuna muttered. Maybe it was good she was in a boarding school. She could at least deduct having to experience the intense escalation of the divorce by sight.

‘I’m sorry, baby.’ The other apologized. Yuna shook her head. Sacrifices were necessary, and she knew how much it could be worse if they stayed together any longer.  She didn’t want the last person she loved sincerely in the house to suffer from her father’s constant lash. She hasn’t seen anything to know and she didn’t want to reach a point where she would have to witness it. A split was probably some form of escape for her. Besides, Yuna knew her mother kept dreams she had to hold back because of marriage and family. She could foresee a better life for her from this.

‘It must have been hard for you lately,’ Yuna replied, leaving her speechless. ‘Do you still-‘ she looked at her knowingly. It was a heavy question to convey, but Yuna wanted to know.

‘Of course I do,’ she answered, reminiscing random thoughts in her head. ‘Things are just getting out of hand and...’ a sigh followed. ‘...sometimes we have to let the people we love go, don’t we?’

Yuna fell silent. She didn’t want to hear it but who was she kidding? They’ve been together for more than 25 years, of course a tender-hearted woman like her would need so much ove to give to want to stay with such a hot-tempered man for so long. ‘You can take care of yourself when I’m not around, right?’ she asked.

There was a brief pause. ‘I’ll be fine,’ Yuna nodded.

_I have people who love me._

*

 

Her mind was in a floating stance as she walked her way out from home. Her steps were comparably slower than usual, her focus barely there, except when crossing roads and making sure she doesn’t recklessly bump into other pedestrians as she travels the sidewalks. Nothing seemed to faze her; all she wanted was to get back to school fast and be drifted by her usual hectic schedule. It was the best she had to distracting herself, and right now, she needed to be distracted.

Her phone began to ring in her hand and she answered an incoming call.

‘Hey,’ Seungcheol’s voice was deep on the other side of the line. ‘I’m sorry I just read your text.’ He began. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yeah,’ she answered nonchalantly. ‘I’m fine,’ she assured him. There was a long pause, and Yuna wasn’t expecting the best to come out from this. ‘Why?’ she asked.

‘I just...I found out...about your parents...’ his voice drifted into silence. ‘I got worried,’ he admitted. ‘Where are you right now?’

‘Outside,’ Yuna replied.

‘Are you sure you’re okay? Because if you just want to talk about this instead-‘

‘I’m sure,’ Yuna cut him off before he could offer any more generosity than he already was. She knew he meant well, and it took a minor flaw to expose her blatant lies, but for some reason she didn’t want him to see her break down. ‘Thanks for being there anyway,’ she tried to sound as grateful as she really was inside.

‘No problem. I’ll see you later then,’ Seungcheol gave up.

‘Yeah,’ Yuna hung up. She had reached the street of her destination, and she casually took herself to a corner lot house, standing in front of an open gate of a terrace house. There were faint cat noises coming from the lawn. She stood close by the entrance, watching a girl lowered on her porch, petting a grey cat under a dim orange light. She had a long ponytail and was in a t-shirt and loose sweatpants.

Yuna’s sudden figure standing at the gate caught her attention and she turned to the comer before slowly standing up.

‘Yuna?’ she called out, and Yuna slowly made her way to her like the common visitor she was. ‘I got your text,’ she said, and Yuna gave a small smile. ‘You should have come earlier,’ she comfortable stretched her arms and gave Yuna a warming welcoming hug. The familiar scent of Soojung’s favourite perfume hit Yuna; it was the most familiar thing she recognized all day, for someone who was struggling to find home. ‘Come on,’ Soojung ushered her guest inside to her room, her parents giving less of a glance to Yuna when they saw her following their daughter to her room.

Soojung had been with Yuna ever since middle school. As far as time goes back, she’s the second longest friend she had after Wonwoo. Being of rebellious nature and painfully smart, she had always been Yuna’s favourite person to run to. Her way of seeing perspective and also undying protective nature for her younger peer had made her Yuna’s trusted confidante. So far at least, there hasn’t been any dispute that risked their relationship as a whole. In short, Soojung was like an older sister to her; a made family.

‘You don’t look okay,’ Soojung shut the door of her bedroom. Yuna shook her head, hands over her mouth. The moment Soojung saw her expression change, she was fast enough to catch her before Yuna collapsed in her arms in tears. She carefully brought Yuna to her bed and sat her down as the latter buried her head in the crook of Soojung’s neck. Yuna told her everything. From the announcement, to her mother moving out. Soojung asked every question patiently; she knew Yuna wasn’t a initiative talker, but she answered well.

She asked if Yuna has seen them argure before this, whether she had talked to Jongin, whether she knew anything about the woman her father was currently seeing. She listened carefully as Yuna tried her best to clarify everything in her voice choked with tears and insufficient breath. Soojung comfortingly rubbed Yuna’s back and stroked the younger’s hair.

Yuna had cancelled her plans with Seungcheol because she noticed her emotions beginning to crumble; also because she decided she hasn’t seen Soojung in such a long time. Seungcheol understood of course. It took a while for Yuna to calm down and regain her breathing composure.

‘So what did you do after they broke it to you?’ Soojung came back into her room with a glass of water for Yuna before she sat back down on her bed.

‘I went to see Seungcheol,’ Yuna swallowed a gulp of water.

‘What’d he say?’

‘I didn’t tell him then,’ she shook her head.

‘Did you run into Wonwoo?’

‘No,’ Yuna answered. ‘He texted though,’ she informed her, fishing out her phone and passing it to Soojung.

‘Are you guys still not talking?’

‘Not as much as we used to,’ Yuna explained.

‘He’s weird,’ Soojung shook her head in disapprovement. ‘But at least he apologized,’

‘Yeah,’ Yuna’s blank was stare. Days after her argument with him, Wonwoo of course texted her to tell her he was sorry. Yuna, being soft at heart and easily forgiving had said she accepted; she had forgiven him merely hours after the unpleasant moment, but she hadn’t initiated any conversation with him since, and with the both of them busy with their own business, neither had the time to share with each other the way they were able to once. It was a shame and Wonwoo got upset every time he gave it a thought; he often assumed Yuna wasn’t interested with the intimate relationship they used to have. It was probably his fault in the first place anyway.

Soojung hadn’t protested to the deterioration of their bond; she had other predictions from a very general perspective which she kept from Yuna. Secretly though, Yuna’s individual  suspicions preceeded hers; Wonwoo had always been too obvious for her, but then so was everyone else. She just didn’t know what to make of it. ‘Are you tired? I’ll switch off the lights if you’re already sleepy. Or we could stream something. I think we have leftovers in the fridge,’

‘My Way?’ Yuna suggested.

‘Cool. I’ll get the food,’ Soojung exited her room. Yuna switched on Soojung’s laptop, sighing. She knew what was to come and soon it will all confront her, but for now...

She just wanted to pretend she knew nothing but, heck, was it hard.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chapter five


	5. Episode 4

 

 

Being back in class made Yuna somewhat relieved, although she admitted it wasn’t the best place to be. She understood why her father had decided to send her there the day she registered herself. Everywhere around her were kids her age, all in similar uniform, grim faces, if not predator looking eyes that seemed to shoot everywhere. This place was no joke, and it would tolerate no joke. Yuna knew what her world would be like now; competition, achievements, never-ending work. She anticipated the pressure.

It took her merely days to adjust her life, her usual schedule, her priorities. Yuna knew what she wanted. She wasn’t going to back down; not even if her father was in her way. There was little fun in their daily lives. Not much effort is put into sports, but Yuna found her therapy in joining the volleyball team. It was probably the only sports she was confident in, having played one-to-one matches with her brother quite often as kids. Her brother says it’s what makes her tall. Besides, Yuna had a strong fist and a good aim.

‘It was obvious why very few people try to truly approach him,’ a man was leaning against the edge of the teacher’s desk in class, a book in one hand, another arm crossed over the other as he read in lively intonation and a calm pace. ‘He was a rather austere person,’

‘Sir, what’s “austere”?’ a boy raised his hand.

‘Austere,’ he pronounced. ‘Does anyone know?’ he looked around the classroom. There was only one person he was confident who knew the answer, but she didn’t have her hands raised. ‘Yes, Kim Yuna.’ He pointed.

‘It means serious and stern, in this context.’ Yuna obligefully answered, a little irritated at being called out but it was no big deal. The man nodded in approval of her answer. Yuna looked back down at her notebook without much care, scribbling down notes as she, like the rest 24 students in the room, listened intently to the lesson. It was probably one of the subjects, if not the only, where she could outshine everyone else. The next hour of class was spent writing an essay, followed by lunch, and Yuna had planned on crashing at the library.

She got up from her seat with her papers in hand, throwing her bag on one shoulder as she skidded past her classmates to the teacher’s desk. Mr Hwang looked at her rather amusingly, but Yuna chose not to take notice. ‘Of course,’ he glanced at his watch. If there was anyone worth looking at from the board of teachers, it was him. He was an image of ‘tall, dark, and handsome’ and God knows how many times he had tried to flirt discreetly with the female teachers and students alike. Nevertheless, he was a dedicated teacher and coach of the volleyball team, which was good enough, and it was the only thing she wanted to be bothered about with him; despite noticing the favour he had put on her for being such a bright student in English. ‘Don’t forget to come for practice,’ he said as Yuna walked out.

 

Yuna led a rather quiet, conspicuous life here at East Elite. She had always had very few friends, and being a high school junior made it far more easier. She plugged in her earphones after plopping down a seat at an empty table, her History book spread on the table, a highlighter in one hand. She began scrolling down her playlist for a song to play but noticed instead that a message had come in.

 

From: Kim Jongin

I might come back for a week or so. Have you heard? Dad won.

 

Yuna pursed her lips. _That was expected._ She muttered inside her head before she put her phone aside and continued reading. It has been three weeks ever since their anouncement of divorce, two weeks since her mother moved out of the house. Yuna had never been any more unhyped for a coming school holiday. Thinking about it made her yawn. She ran a hand through her hair, slipping her hand inside her bag and fishing out a small glass vile half filledwith small light blue capsules. Yuna opened the steel lid and picked out two pills before she slipped the vile into her bag again, this time pulling out a bottle of water. She swallowed the two pills in one go, taking a pause before she went back to reading for another good two hours.

After class ended, Yuna had to run for practice after a rushed change of clothes. She ran through the corridor leading to the volleyball court while tying her hair high. It wasa struggle trying to balance studies and volleyball at the same time but Yuna enjoyed the challenge. She recognized the familiar frivolous expression on her coach’s face when she entered, finding a bench to lean her foot on so that she could adjust her sneakers. Some other players were already stretching and warming up.

‘Put some more strength in your serve, Yuna.’ Mr Hwang called out. ‘Yes, that’s it.’ He approved as soon as she caught up with his advice. He liked seeing her play. She was an awfully fast learner, and barely looked much like she was turning 15.

‘Is he into you?’ Jinri thought out loud after coming to Yuna to cool down together. She threw Mr Hwang a curious glance as they stretched. Yuna’s eyes followed hers, shrugging. ‘I mean he is cute but-‘ she pursed her lips in a way she wasn’t keen with the idea of it. ‘-he’s so...carefree.’

Yuna made no comment. Choi Jinri, like Yuna and pretty much a lot of the junior students struggled to adjust to the new settings of an elite school. She was in a different class, therefore shared no spectating of the man’s favour of Yuna during English period. In fact, they didn’t even share the same dorm. Jinri had come into her room looking for her smarter classmate to explain a Biology question and Yuna had been the only one with an answer understandable for Jinri. Since then, Yuna had been the one she trusted to come to every time she struggled with her academics.

As time passed they found more common ground besides their love for volleyball and disinterest for the general community of the school. They clicked quick, becoming each other’s confidante and they personally trusted no one else.

‘One senior asked if he hated you,’ Jinri spilled a story. It was 11pm and night classes had ended but the two thought it was too early to return to their dorms; besides they didn’t room together so they agreed to continue revision at the canteen hall. ‘You know, always calling you out more often than anyone in the team.’ She sipped on her boxed orange juice.

‘Am I that bad?’

‘No,’ Jinri said with a face that thought her question was absurd. She leaned closer towards Yuna. ‘To be honest, you’re better than some of the seniors,’ she whispered. ‘I’ve seen them hit and serve-‘ she rolled her eyes, sticking out her tongue. ‘I don’t get why they’re on the team. And I’m not saying that to make you feel better, it’s just my opinion, it’s an elite school after all of course we don’t perform in sports,’

Yuna let out a small laugh.

‘You play sports in your old school?’

‘Long time ago,’ she answered. ‘I usually play outside school,’

Jinri nodded. ‘You don’t look flimsy,’ she held Yuna’s upper arm. For someone who made a name as a school athelete, Jinri knew a lot. ‘Oh, and you have a really, really strong hit.’ She added.

‘Thanks,’ Yuna smiled.

‘What time you heading back?’ Jinri asked. Yuna glanced down at her watch. It was nearing midnight.

‘Not anytime soon,’ she sighed.

‘You too, huh?’

‘What?’ Yuna was caught clueless.

‘Cringey drama in your room?’ Jinri replied.

‘I...don’t get it. What’s with your roommates?’

‘One of them is always on the phone with her boyfriend, which is fine by me. I mean, I hate cheesy conversations but she does phone sex while she’s at it.’ Jinri shivered as she recalled the things she heard her roommate say in a flirty voice to her senior boyfriend who was also in the same school. She had been innocently reading on her bed and normally Jinri would be listening to music at maximum volume but this one particularly night, she was reading a high-level reading text and couldn’t focus with music on. She swore she was concentrating hard on her book but unfortunately, her roommate’s voice was too distracting that she started eavesdropping (it wasn’t exactly eavesdropping as the latter didn’t really make much of an effort to sound so secretive) on her. Five minutes later, she was out of the room and heading towards Yuna’s room so that she could read there instead. ‘You won’t imagine the things I heard her say,’

‘I doubt I want to know,’ Yuna’s brows tightened.

‘But anyway, lately sometimes she comes back really late and-‘ she started whispering. ‘-she’d be putting concealer on her neck.’

‘Wow,’ Yuna was genuinely alarmed by Jinri’s story. She was barely 15, and knew so little about physical attraction and anything rated mature, but understood the implemented language she so often hears her peers use to cover up the explicity of their topic.

‘Yuna,’ a boy approached their table from Yuna’s back. Jinri recognized him as being one of Yuna’s classmate, adorning glasses and carrying a stack of papers. The girl turned around at the call of her name. ‘Mr Hwang wants you to send these to his desk before 1am,’ he placed them on the table beside Yuna’s belongings.

The latter put up a confused face but said nothing. ‘Okay,’ she merely went, before catching a knowing look from Jinri. The boy barely spares the two a grin before he walks away. Yuna flicks through the papers; a collection of her classmates’ essays from today’s English period.

‘Coach is getting really, really fishy lately,’

‘No kidding,’ Yuna hated wondering. A quarter to one, they both agreed to head back, making a stop at the teachers’ room on the way. Very few teachers were still around, and against Yuna’s prayers, so was Mr Hwang. He was leaning in his seat, at his desk at the far corner of the room.

‘Do you want me to come in too or-‘

‘That’s okay,’ Yuna said, pasting a straight expression as she entered the large room, making her way to his desk, while Jinri kept a curious watch from outside.

‘Ah, I was expecting you.’ Mr Hwang raised his head from marking another set of work by his senior students. He was in his formal wear, and the smell of coffee filled the cold air of the room. _Latte,_ Yuna spotted the Starbucks standing at the corner of his desk. Spending dso much time with Seungcheol back when he was still working at that cafe taught her a thing or two about coffee, even though she wasn’t a fan of the drink. The girl pursed an insincere smile, carefully sliding her classmates’ essays on his desk. ‘Hold on, I’m almost done marking yours.’ he looked back down at his work. Yuna stood waiting awkwardly, trying her best not to look. ‘Do you always stay out alone?’

‘Sometimes,’ she reluctantly answered.

‘Why? Are you introverted?’ he looked up at her. ‘All your friends study with their boyfriends, don’t they?’

 _What friends?_ Yuna thought to herself. He made it sound as if she was the only single person in the school; which, when she thought about it, was exaggerating. There was a fair number of people who claimed to be together but Yuna could care less. She can’t be bothered enough to look around her too long. It was enough she knows. She decided there was no joy staring at any of them for too long.

‘Do you have a boyfriend, Yuna?’ her teacher asked.

‘What?’ she wasn’t paying full attention to him.

‘I’m pretty sure you do, don’t you?’ a grin formed on his face as he held up her paper to her, and she threw it a brief glance. On it was written the number 98 in red. ‘You’re cute and smart. Has no one confessed to you yet?’

 _I’ve just been here for eight months,_ Yuna was sighing inside.

‘Thank you,’ she merely said.

‘You’re a really quiet girl, aren’t you?’ he pointed out. _How obvious,_ Yuna thought. She was frankly disinterested in continuing the conversation any further. She would rather sit down and find where she lost her two marks on her essay. _Grammar error?_ She was itching to flip her papers but didn’t want to look like she was in no way bothered about whatever Mr Hwang was saying. ‘If you need to talk to me, you can, you know?’

Yuna uncomfortably nodded, trying to paste a nervous smile.

‘Or even if you get lonely,’ Mr Hwang scoffed a smirk at her; one that meant more than how it looked. Not that Yuna didn’t understand why a lot of her peers found it attractive; it was just sometimes they had to look a little closer to find that there was more to this well-careered man in his 30s who had good athleticism image. Something very few would be distracted by. Like always, Yuna couldn’t care less, but it wasn’t exactly easy when she sees him quite often.

 _Lonely..._ Yuna juggled the word in her head. She’s alone yes, but barely lonely.

Barely.

She wouldn’t need his personal company, not now, not ever. The last thing on her mind would be the emptiness inside her that she claims doesn’t exist. An emptiness not anyone could carelessly try to fill. Of course she had desires; she had specifications. Although unexpressed but they were there. And Yuna wouldn’t want to settle for less. Especially not to a man who couldn’t care less that she was nothing more than a student of 15 years trying to get through high school with the purest intentions her father had expected her with.

 

 

 

 


	6. Episode 5

Yuna didn’t make it in the top 25 for her finals, which came off as a shame, but she decided she didn’t want to spend her school break in school. Being there was rather intoxicating, though she enjoyed it, and she thought she would like it better locked in her room at home rather than having to go through an extra several weeks with people she wasn’t fond of seeing.

Besides, there was the issue of her father’s new fiancée. He was putting her up for the admired, sensible daughter, and wanted her introduced to her future stepmother. Yuna knew he would expect her to welcome the woman into their family, and for formalities purposes she would, without the sheerest reluctance. But that was it.

She found the whole process rather vexing, though.

The moment she stepped back into the house, a wisp of eerie air came about her, delaying her steps and as she walked through the hallway, she looked around, though there was obviously no change whatsoever. Except the inevitable silence. Yuna sighed to herself as she watched her father throw his car keys on the drawers in a room connecting the front foyer to the dining room. Of course, Yuna kept in close contact with her mother, but the physical solitude she was forced to enter didn’t appear as anything welcoming. Everything was too sudden.

It wasn’t as if she talked much with her father, and even if she did he was out of the house a lot of the time. Business conferences, dates, meetings, company dinners, anything that included socializing with well-made and careered people. People of her father’s sort. The kind of social gatherings that involved conversations of materialistic dreams and achievements. Meanwhile, Yuna would be alone in her room, trying to be busy, reading, writing, revising if not seeing her old school friends.

One evening a knock came on Yuna’s bedroom door, and she had opened it to find her father. ‘Get ready, we’re going out.’ He merely said. Three hours later, she was sitting in an upmarket restaurant on the same table as a woman she has never seen before. The woman looked like she was in her mid 30s, wearing a light brown blouse and fitted black skirt that reached until her knee. She had a cheery demeanour, a contrast to her father and looked more excited to having the dinner with her fiance’s daughter than Yuna’s father was.

‘Ryu Hyejin,  I’ve been waiting to meet you.’ She said. Yuna didn’t use much force to smile, seeing that she was a warm person overall. She was a lawyer who had once been assigned to a case involving the company Yuna’s father was working for. She spoke well, expectedly and had asked a variety of questions to Yuna that didn’t include school and her ambitions.

‘Excuse me for a minute,’ her father left for the restroom about one hour into dinner, leaving the two women together.

‘You’re pretty tall for a girl your age,’ Hyejin commented. Yuna accepted it; she wasn’t the first to say that, and as Yuna saw it, it was a sincere compliment. ‘So what does a girl like you do to fill time during school break?’

‘Read, study maybe. Sometimes go out,’ she answered briefly.

‘You like it at school better, don’t you? Doing things you’re obligated to do without anyone watching you?’

‘I guess,’

‘Is he different around you?’ Hyejin referred to Yuna’s father. Obviously, Yuna noticed how talkative he was with Hyejin. Interested would be a better word to describe it. He was lively. For once he actually did look like he had feelings, passion, a different reason to enjoy life that didn’t include money and grades. She was happy on his behalf, and surprisingly deep inside she didn’t see it as anything hypocritical. True he is a cold man with an intolerant attitude towards Yuna, but that was him as a father, not a fiancé. It was slightly relieving for her to be able to witness that, but it was nothing she wanted to closely observe. At least something good was going to come out of this for him.

Although it was selfish that perhaps it was the only reason he wanted the divorce; for his own personal convenience. After all, he had held his breath waiting for the court to announce that Yuna would be under his guardianship, not her mother.

‘A little,’ she figured she didn’t need to explain further. She would see for herself later, if it mattered that much.

 

*

 

After the dinner, Yuna requested to return home on her own. Besides, the two adults had wanted to spend some time elsewhere. She took a bus to the Han River, strolling by the riverside in her heels, a teenage girl in a cocktail sleeveless black dress. _I guess this is how you dress at the functions Dad keeps attending,_ she thought. It wasn’t all that bad, except for the part where she regretted not heading back home first to change shoes. But oh well, it was just for that night.

She switched on her phone, carrying it as she recorded the view as she walked, trying to capture whatever she thought was beautiful; stopping at times to capture photos. There were a few other people cruising there just like she was, a group of people cycling down the road. At one point she saw a patch of grass by the riverbank. Her feet were starting to get sore from walking and standing, so she took them off. The grass under her feet felt soft and refreshing under the skin of her soles.

Yuna sat down, legs bent and she pulled out her hairband, letting her black hair loose. From a distance behind here she could here a group of boys sitting at a table outside a convenience store, laughing and talking rather loudly. She glanced once their way without much thought; rather reminiscing on her brother who used to bring her out to eat instant noodles late at night at convenience stores. He was the only person their father would trust to take her out at late hours. She could nowadays, though, but that was either because he didn’t care enough to notice or he wasn’t at home to catch her outdoors without his permission.

She doubted he would even be home that night, she predicted as she sighed, leaning her head on her knees. _Looks like this summer break is going to be a boring one._

*

 

‘What’s with her?’ Hansol nodded at the golden retriever tied around the pole of the tent towering above them. The dog was circling restlessly near Seungcheol’s legs, pacing back and forth and occasionally barking at the boy. Seungcheol only kept looking down at the canine, brows tightened as he took calm sips from his bottle of Coke.

‘Wonwoo is really taking a long time,’  Seungcheol said.

‘Maybe we should walk it first,’ Hansol suggested. ‘Wonwoo won’t be mad right?’

‘Nah,’ Seungcheol shook his head. Hansol gave a casual grin, bending over to the dog and unwrapping the leash from the pole. He was too slow to realize how hyperactive the dog was until it started barking and running before Hansol could even hold onto the leash. ‘Hey,’ Hansol calmly rose up and watched the dog waddle towards another passer by.

Seungcheol laughed amusingly as he spectated the dog heading towards a young woman in black, who looked rather alarmed by the animal’s sudden appearance. She seemed to be smiling from a distance though, lowering herself to pet it fondly. It took several moments for Seungcheol’s smile to fade and subconsciously rise from his seat.

‘Hey-‘ Wonwoo jogged down the stairs as he exited the store, catching Seungcheol out of his sub-hypnosis by his deep voice. ‘-where’s Mika?’ he asked, scanning the area to find both and Hansol absent. His gaze rose to where they left, which was just a mere crossing of the sandy road to the side bank of the river.

‘I’m so so sorry,’ Hansol was flustered at the seemingly older girl.

She shook her head. ‘It’s fine,’ she smiled at him as she sat watching him take lead of the dog while it kept barking in a rushed manner. Blush was rising to his cheeks; he was acting rash and Yuna felt bad for him. ‘What’s its name?’ she asked, trying to wear off the awkwardness, in hopes he doesn’t feel too embarrassed.

‘Mika, I think.’ Hansol raised a brow without looking at her. He had brown hair and his eyes looked a little paler than brown.

‘It’s a cute name,’ she nodded.

‘Yeah,’ Hansol scoffed a laugh. ‘I’m really sorry if she scared you or anything-‘

‘No, no, she didn’t. It’s completely fine,’ she assured him.

‘Thanks,’ he stood up. ‘I’ll see you around then. Come on girl,’ he pulled Mika away from Yuna, walking towards the older two who were looking his way. ‘Sorry about that,’ he said, not exactly noticing them gazing over at the girl. ‘So where to now?’ he asked, snapping Seungcheol out his subconscious thoughts.

‘You guys go on first, I’ll catch you later.’ Wonwoo held Hansol’s shoulder for a brief second before he walked past them.

‘What-‘ Hansol turned to see Wonwoo jogging towards the girl. _So it is her,_ Seungcheol thought to himself. Yuna stood up, stretching her leg so that she could put on her heels again. She brushed off any leaves and grass off her dress.

‘Yunie,’ a shadow towered over her, a voice she recognized. She looked up to see a face that could only add to her stress or make her feel better, and she wasn’t optimistic.

‘Wonwoo,’ she wasn’t sure whether she wanted to welcome such a surprising encounter. ‘What are you doing here?’ Yuna asked. He was in a pair of fitted black denim and graphic t-shirt underneath a coat, his hair tucked beneath his snapback.

‘Just, hanging with the boys.’ He answered. Yuna threw a glance behind Wonwoo, only then recognizing Seungcheol’s figure by the convenience store. _What a coincidence._ ‘You? Did you come here alone?’

‘Yeah,’

‘Where are you headed now?’

‘Home, I guess.’ She had no other place to be in mind, and she didn’t want to risk having to spend an entire night with him, considering he might want to follow her wherever she wanted to go.

‘M-May I-‘ Wonwoo was struggling not to stare at her dress for too long; it was starting to make it a little difficult for him to breath. He hasn’t seen her in a while, and to be honest, he rarely ever sees her in any other colour besides black outside of school, and she looked awfully stunning.

‘Sure,’ Yuna nodded.

‘Who’s she?’ Hansol asked and Seungcheol tried to hide a disappointed heart.

‘An old friend,’ he answered before ushering the younger boy away. _You better not screw up this time, Jeon._

Yuna and Wonwoo walked in utter awkward silence for a good length of the road, a long time enough for Wonwoo to strike up a conversation. He cleared his throat. ‘W-Where were you from?’ he pointed shyly at her attire.

‘Dinner,’

‘You were on a date?’

‘My dad,’ she answered simply. Wonwoo nodded, understanding where she came from and pushed the topic no further.

‘So who do you live with now? Him?’

‘Yeah,’ she looked straight ahead. ‘It’s not too bad, I guess. He’s not at home most of the time,’ she explained. _Of course,_ Wonwoo was aware of it, slightly. Yuna mentioned several times about it back when they were still schooling together. A well-made man who spent less and less time at home, he concluded. Surprisingly, Yuna seemed less than upset about it. Heck, was she ever upset about anything? He tried to recall, but the Yuna he remembered was always excited and lively.

Now Kim Yuna was a young growing lady with a terribly calm demeanour and an unwavering expression to match. Wonwoo couldn’t help but observe every detail of her statuesque face as they both stopped, waiting for the lights to turn green so that they could cross the road. She looked so much like an arrogant and paler version of her brother, her features more obviously softer than that of her elder sibling. Ironically, he had always felt like Yuna had inherited the vibe her father gave off, despite their mutual dislike.

‘Yunie,’ he called. She threw him a glance. ‘Are you still mad at me?’

She slowly tore her gaze away. ‘About what?’

‘Anything,’ he didn’t want to mention it. It seemed to take a very short walk to reach the park where Yuna’s house was located. Wonwoo seemed to forget for a minute that Yuna comfortably walked in a rather fast pace.

‘Not at all,’ she said monotonously, which did little to convince Wonwoo.

‘Because you know we don’t-‘ he was startled when Yuna stopped abruptly in front of him. ‘-we don’t really talk that much anymore.’

‘Is this about that argument we had? Before I left?’ she knew it was it. She always knew from the beginning it was what held Wonwoo from talking to her naturally.

‘Listen, I-‘ Wonwoo scratched the back of his neck. ‘-I was rash, and yeah I was wrong. I got mad because we’ve known each other for years and I know Seungcheol is your boyfriend-‘

‘What?’ Yuna muttered.

‘It’s probably not my place to say anything,’

‘Wonwoo-‘

‘-sometimes I wonder if you’re not talking to me because of him,’

Yuna scoffed a smirk, shaking her head. ‘This is why we don’t talk,’ she turned her back, walking.

‘Huh?’ Wonwoo was caught clueless, confused. ‘Wait, why? Why don’t we talk?’ he jogged after her, catching up to her side. Yuna looked him in the eye. It was a startling glare, an unreadable one.

‘Because-‘ she exhaled. ‘-you never listen to me.’

‘What does that mean?’ Wonwoo was growing anxious.

‘You keep going on about how I’m too busy with Seungcheol to have time for you, you think I’m the reason we cut things off when-‘ she sighed. ‘-Seungcheol isn’t my boyfriend.’

‘What?’

‘Surprised? And I bet you’re thinking all that from your own assumptions. You probably never bothered to ask him either, did you?’

‘So what if he isn’t your boyfriend? You still hook up with him like-‘

‘Like what?’

‘I still felt like I wasn’t in the scene anymore, alright?’

‘That was your own fault,’ Yuna was tired enough of having to justify herself.

‘Mine?’ Wonwoo however wasn’t about to let it slide. ’It’s my fault that you pushed me out of the way?’

‘See? You don’t listen, do you? We were best friends, Wonwoo. But suddenly the moment I mention Seungcheol you shut me out!’ she raised her voice, halting him in an instant. He had never heard her raise her voice before. ‘It was one time, Wonwoo, one time! When I text you, you act like you don’t want to talk anymore. When I can’t hang out with you because of my parents, you act like I did something so bad. Who pushed who?’ her lips were starting to tremble a little. ‘What the hell was I supposed to do? I waited because I thought you had a major problem you couldn’t tell me, but apparently all this while it was something you thought I’d been doing with Seungcheol.’

‘Yunie-‘ his voice softened from guilt, weak from little drops of tears that hung on her eyes.

‘You thought I was out flirting with a guy you don’t like when I was locked inside the house, turning insane.’ She laughed. ‘I almost lost my mind, you know?’ Yuna added. Wonwoo’s eyes were wavering as he looked down at her. ‘I’m sorry,’ her voice faded and she walked away in a rush.

‘Yuna wait!’ he was fast enough to grasp her wrist, but she was strong enough to pull away from him. It took him by surprise, and perhaps fear. He didn’t want to lose her again, not this time. Or maybe he already did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Episode 6

‘One iced Americano please,’ Seungcheol ordered his evening regular as he leaned at the counter of the cafe he used to work in, paying before he scanned around the building to find an empty table to sit at. He settled at a counter table right by the window, flicking through random magazines to pass time. People passing by the shop barely caught his attention; that was until a girl in a maroon hoodie and jeans halted in front of the window, rather obviously, craning her head low, eyebrows tightening. Seungcheol had to raise his eyes twice, before his lips curved into an amused grin. The girl pointed at him with a similarly excited face, waving at him and rushing into the cafe.

‘Hey!’ Jung Soojung pulled down her school bag, leaning them on the seat besides Seungcheol. She ran a hand through her hair once before fixing herself onto an empty seat. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked.

‘This place makes the best Americanos,’ Seungcheol answered. ‘Where you from?’ he nodded his head to Soojung’s bag.

‘Class,’ she shrugged.

‘I thought it’s summer vacation?’

‘My mum had me attend summer classes from a few weeks. It’s not that bad though, but heck, they’re kind of tiring sometimes, you know? I mean, I’m only 16. Give me a break,’ she leaned her arms onto the counter, sighing loudly and she rolled her eyes. Seungcheol laughed, his chin resting on his hand.

‘Yeah. You look stressed enough,’

‘They don’t even have this in America,’ she rolled her eyes again. ‘Summer is summer, you’re supposed to head over to the coast or sleep away your days.’ She unzipped her bag and slipped her hand into it. ‘Not revising-‘ she pulled out a book. ‘-on goddamn pre-Algebra.’

‘You hung out with Yuna yet?’

‘Yuna? Oh, yeah, I crash at her place a lot.’ She told him. ‘Why? What about you?’

‘I ran into her a few days back. I didn’t get to talk to her though,’

‘Why not?’ Soojung wondered, but they were interrupted by the call of Seungcheol’s name.

‘Wait, hold that thought.’ He got up from his seat and took his order at the counter before returning to his seat. ‘Where were we?’

‘You didn’t get to talk to Yuna,’

‘Oh yeah,’ Seungcheol took a sip of his drink ‘Wonwoo wanted to see her so-‘ he nodded, smiling at her and she understandingly nodded, her brows rising and her lips turning into an obvious frown. ‘What’s with the face?’

Soojung turned her gaze to her book. ‘Wonwoo,’ she merely answered. Her eyes flickered of disinterest at the mentioning of his name. ‘What did he do? Harass her?’

‘No,’ he answered in a matter-of-factly way, but he wasn’t too confident with the way Soojung was throwing glares aimlessly. ‘Why? Did he do something? Because you look like you hate him,’

‘Sort of. He misunderstood her once, no, for a while back before high school. He started accusing her stuff. The argument was so messy,’ she cringed. ‘I don’t know, I’m pretty bitter. He apologized already, but you never know, you get me?’

 _Same mistake done twice,_ Seungcheol nodded.

‘He likes her,’ Soojung yawned. ‘Love really makes you a sensitive person, doesn’t it?’ she narrowed her eyes Seungcheol.

‘Sometimes,’ he replied. _Or maybe all the time._ He never knew Wonwoo ever invested feelings for the girl he considered his little sister. He knew they were friends; it was hard to tell. Yuna barely mentions Wonwoo that much in his presence. It made him curious when Wonwoo was the first to run to Yuna and suddenly dismiss the free time he had originally planned to spend with him and Hansol to her instead.

Seungcheol wanted to ask, but Wonwoo didn’t return to the dorm that night (he assumed Wonwoo went back home since he lived in town). When he confronted the latter lightly about Yuna, Wonwoo merely said, ‘I know her brother. We had things to talk about,’ and they both left it at that.

‘What are they again?’ he wanted to know.

‘Best friends, supposedly. I don’t know if Yuna still thinks that way though. They’ve known each other for-‘ she mentally calculated in her head. ‘Six years? Yuna moved here and they were neighbours and classmates.’ Soojung stared into space as she tried to retrace the steps of Yuna and Wonwoo’s long friendship. ‘And then Yuna’s parents got a new house and she moved, but they still hung out with each other I think. So yeah, they were obviously really, really close.’

‘Wow,’

‘Yeah,’ Soojung understood his reaction. ‘Really long time, isn’t it? But yeah,’ she sighed. ‘Really close,’ she murmured. Seungcheol could imagine. It still took a while to digest; it was a small world, and out of all people he was about to debut as a musician with the best friend to a girl he sees as his little sister. Was that why Wonwoo was hard to approach? He couldn’t tell. But it was probably best for him not to wonder anymore about the two. Avoiding interference was always best.

 

*

 

A set of knocks woke Yuna from her sleep. She didn’t exactly remember falling asleep; a sudden flash of light helped nothing in regaining her memories from a few hours back. The very faint light shaded by the curtains indicated a high possibility that it was noon, and Yuna confirmed it as her hand scoured the bed for her phone and she checked the time. Another knock came, this time followed by a gentle call. ‘Yuna? Are you in there?’ the deep voice was recognizable. It was Wonwoo, unmistakeably. Her heavy eyelids blinked several times at the door that led her room to her balcony. Her room and Jongin’s were reachable via a set of winding stairs that leads a visitor to a canopied balcony area. All these years, most of their close friends usually stopped by their place using this method instead of using the front door.

For Yuna, it was Soojung and Wonwoo.

Yuna traced the shadow of Wonwoo’s figure moving from the door to her window. She rolled her back so that she was facing the other way, pulling her blankets over her head. Faint cat noises followed, and Yuna close her eyes again. She heard several clicking sounds. _Oh crap,_ she thought.

She forgot Jeon Wonwoo was the first to know her complicated method of getting in even with the door locked, and being a regular visitor of both her _and_ her brother, his hands were even more skilful than the residents themselves. Yuna was sure he could do it with his eyes closed. The only thing that comforted her was that she had the grill on the door locked. She heard the door creak open. She could sense the light from outside seep into her room.

‘Yunie?’ he called again. Yuna didn’t want to appear like she hated him. She didn’t, but she did want to spare herself drama. After all, her eyes were still sticky from last night’s tears. She slowly turned her head to him.

‘I’m sorry, I-‘ Wonwoo was a little startled to find her still enveloped in the warmth of her bed. He was standing at the grill, carrying a plastic bag. _Something smells like food,_ Yuna thought. She sat up, stoning her weak heart. She quickly fixed her hair, grabbing her towel that hung on a rail beside her bed and wrapped them around her neck so that it could cover the lower part of her face. Fishing her keys from her bedside drawers, Yuna went to unlock the grill, keeping her head low. She didn’t want him to see how red her eyes was. ‘Thanks,’ Wonwoo said, trying to catch a glimpse of her face, but all he saw was her straight black hair that curtained over her head like light silk.

When was the last time he saw her in a t-shirt and loose pants? Wonwoo couldn’t remember; for he only stared at her as he walked into her room after several months, almost a year. It still looked and smelled the same. Only the bedsheets and carpets were of a different colour. He noticed that there were no more posters on her walls, but paintings instead that much the colour of the interior. Yuna quickly made her bed in silence, feeling the weight of his gaze on her. ‘Sit down,’ she merely said. ‘I’m gonna-‘ she pointed to her suite bathroom, and Wonwoo nodded.

‘Yeah, sure.’ He awkwardly settled himself on the edge of Yuna’s bed while she headed into the bathroom for a wash, grabbing a set of clean clothes from her closet on the way. Yuna hurried inside and locked the door, only to realize how much her heart has been holding it’s fast paced beats for a brief moment. She heaved a heavy sigh, lowering herself on the lid of the toilet bowl, trying to calm herself down. _You woke up, Jeon Wonwoo is outside in your room and you’re about to take a bath and see him afterwards because you have no other choice,_ she kept saying to herself.

She gave herself three counts before she stripped herself bare, standing in front of her sink as she looked at her face in the mirror. Her face was a tinted pale pink, her eyes looked a little damp. _What happened yesterday?_ She remembered spending the entire day cycling before she grabbed a Subway and settled in her room.

_And then?_

And then she cried. It was a Tuesday and her father hadn’t come home yet. She texted Jongin asking if he wanted to Skype, but he replied saying he was busy but he will call when he finds spare time. The vivid silence and emptiness of the house left her so appalled and helpless she started crying and hitting the wall.

She wanted to watch a movie and eat but the surge of emotions left her with no apetite for entertainment or food. Yuna went back downstairs and stole sleeping pills from the kitchen – the ones her mother had used to put her to sleep back _then._ She swallowed them and after half an hour she collapsed on her bed.

No wonder she felt a little dozy, she said as she stepped into the shower cubicle.

Wonwoo has had enough time to think everything through, he thought to himself. Friendship, that was the matter. He clarified everything with Jongin, asked him all that he knew. Wonwoo could sense Jongin didn’t want to say much about it, much like his sister, but he told him anyway. ‘After I left, my old man started controlling her real bad, putting expectations, getting her to study hours everyday because he wanted her to be perfect so that she didn’t turn out to be me. He made Yuna obey him, made sure she got perfect grades. I don’t know what that ratchet of a man did to her but it changed her for a while, in a bad way, you know? My mum called me crying about it. She told me she had to use meds just so Yuna could sleep because she was making all these crazy things my dad made her do her habits. I think it was for like, two months?’

Wonwoo wasn’t sure how he hallucinated what he had believed of her all this while. He felt bad enough he did that to her. He just wanted to be there for her, and to laugh and play together, just like how they used to.

Yuna didn’t take too long; she spent her time plucking up the courage than actually washing herself. Her dry hair was tied up in a bun and she had slipped on a t-shirt and shorts when she came out of the bathroom. ‘I’m gonna go downstairs for a bit,’ she said, carrying the clothes she wore to sleep last night. ‘Do you want something to drink?’ she asked.

‘That’d be nice,’ he smiled, clearing his dry throat. She came back upstairs carrying a bottle of plain water and a bottle of Coke soon after, much to his relief. Yuna sat down on the carpet beside her bed scratching the bottle of plain water with her nails softly, her eyes down. Wonwoo descended from the bed and followed suit. ‘Yunie,’ he called. She looked back at him. ‘I’m sorry, about everything.’

She nodded. ‘It’s fine,’ she forced a smile.

‘I went overboard. I shouldn’t have done that,’

She shook her head. ‘Where were you from?’ she asked.

‘Home,’ he replied before standing up. ‘By the way I got you rice rolls.’ Wonwoo picked up the plastic bag he had brought there. ‘You must be hungry,’ he took out the container and opened the lid, placing it on in front of them.

‘Thank you,’ Yuna shyly took the chopsticks he was holding out to her. ‘How’s training?’ she started. ‘Do you have to learn how to sing and play?’

Wonwoo nodded. ‘They teach us a lot of stuff. Sometimes we come home really late. It’s a small company,’ he explained. ‘Not like the ones people always talk about on TV,’

Yuna nodded. She barely keeps up with the local entertainment scene, or any entertainment scene for that matter. She’s a fan of good music; Jongin’s passion was secondarily expressed through constant rambles and recommendations towards his little sister when she sits in his room. He would be excited every time he found a new song he liked, or every time he produced a new simple remix of music he listened to. Because of that, Yuna’s iPod was filled with underrated songs from musicians other people weren’t sure they heard of. He still does share songs he discovered through social media. It keeps their mutual passion and strong bond alive.

Wonwoo had been interested music for quite a while. Yuna knows what songs he liked. She knew he saved up money to buy himself a drum set. He practiced at It was probably why he and Jongin clicked so well. Wonwoo would go out with Jongin or his older brother to the music store to browse through new singles. He already told his parents he wanted to pursue music when he got older. His parents told him as long as he did good and didn’t neglect his studies, they were fine with it.

When he turned 14, and Yuna was 13, they went on trips. The both of them would search for auditions he could enter, from one company to another, and Yuna would wait outside, praying Wonwoo gets what he wanted in life, including his dreams. She didn’t accompany him all the time though. She was ecstatic when he called to tell her he had gotten into one company – a name she hadn’t heard of. Wonwoo explained to her what it was like, that after a few years of training, they would debut him in a band. He would record songs and sing. ‘I have to take vocal lessons. They said if I practice hard enough my voice will improve and I can sing too, not just play drums.’ It was at that tender age, these two knew such raw innocent excitement.

‘When do you get to perform for real?’ she asked.

‘We’re not preparing yet, but there’s talk about it already.’ Wonwoo answered. Yuna drifted into thoughts of the promise she made. The dream she wanted to see him fulfill. She wanted to be there to witness it, to see him make it. She truly did.

‘I’d like to see you,’ she looked down as she took one bite of the rice roll, helplessly smiling. Heat rose to her cheeks and Wonwoo couldn’t help but admire her from such a close distance.

‘One day,’ he promised. Yuna rose her head, and burst into a small laugh. ‘What?’ Wonwoo was clueless, a grin on his lips. Yuna shook her head, unable to control herself. ‘What’s so funny?’ he was amused at her, pointing his chopsticks at her trying to pinch her nose but she evaded. He ended up laughing with her two, though neither knew what about, but I suppose that’s what friends do. Even in the most oddest, most unknowing of situations, they stick together. Or at least that was what Yuna believed.

 

 

 

 


	8. Episode 7

When sophomore term began, Yuna swore to bring nothing with her but her father’s words. He had sat her down approximately a month before she was to return, knocking on the door of her bedroom ten minutes after coming home from work. ‘I looked at your results ages ago,’ he started, placing her report card on her desk. Yuna had originally left it in her father’s study when she came home. She almost thought he had ignored it.‘I assumed you’ve been studying for your next year this break, didn’t you?’

 

Yuna nodded. _Of course I did._ She was more ashamed than anyone that she couldn’t get into the top 25 in ranking. Placing 32nd out of 215 students was good enough, but not to her. ‘It’s almost perfect. Just a slack in your pre-Calculus,’ he stroked the top of her head. Yuna almost jerked, but she kept still, her eyes struck. It felt like a cold stroke, and she accepted no affection that could come from it. ‘But now you’re among perfect kids. You need to be one of them,’ he reminded her. ‘Alright?’

 

‘Okay,’ she answered quietly.

 

‘Good girl,’ he patted her once on her shoulder and Yuna did not at all turn until she heard her door close behind him. She clicked her pen repeatedly on her written notes. ‘Study, study, study.’ she muttered under her breath. ‘It’s not like you have anything better to do anyway,’ she sighed as she continued sketching down diagrams in her book.

 

‘He’s still on about that?’ Yuna could hear a crackled male’s voice echoing through her earphones. She switched tabs on Google she had opened on her laptop, an academic thesis faded to show a live screen of a tanned black-haired man looking at her. He was shirtless except for a towel around his neck.

 

‘He’s always on about that, remember?’ Yuna answered.

 

‘What’d you get for your finals?’ he was curious. Yuna was too lazy to specify the details verbally, holding up her report card to the webcam instilled in the laptop. Jongin, all the way in the comfort of his living room in a small apartment in Los Angeles carefully read the transcript.

 

‘You’ve never scored below 75?’ Jongin’s eyes turned wide as Yuna removed the report card from the camera. She nonchalantly shook her head.

 

‘Not yet,’ she added. ‘But I was better in middle school,’

 

‘Let me guess,’ Jongin scratched his head. ‘Never below 90?’

 

Yuna nodded sadly.

 

‘Jesus Christ,’ he downed his canned beer.

 

‘Is that alcohol?’ Yuna seemed rather taken aback.

 

‘I’m 23, remember?’ he reminded her. Yuna scoffed a smirk.

 

‘You don’t act that old,’ she sneered jokingly. Jongin almost choked on his drink.

 

‘You brat,’ he muttered, and Yuna let out a small laugh.

 

‘You did meds too back in high school, didn’t you?’ she brought up.

 

‘You found my stash?’ Jongin grinned at her, reminiscing on his old school days when he was a very carefree, reckless spirit. He still was, frankly, but the exciting moments had passed when he graduated from school. The fun of it all came from the unending possibilities that he could get caught, the rush of jumping over school walls when a guard catches them running through the outdoor school grounds. The ecstasy of knowing he was rebelling against the rules laid down by his father and the pressuring society around him. All that and he still managed to excel in the things he strived in. That was all that mattered. He played hard, and he worked hard.

 

He knew his father didn’t see it. After all,  Jongin  was just a son he didn’t want to claim as his. He deemed Jongin’s act of rebellion as a shameful act he had to cover up. Nobody outside of the family knew of the drama the family witnessed. Everyone else saw Jongin as someone who was spreading his wings. His father was the only one who didn’t approve, but he couldn’t show it. He couldn’t show the  pride he was unwilling to give to his son, and Jongin couldn’t care less. He was trying to impress no one but himself, and he knew when he came back to show how big of a name he had made for himself, he wouldn’t bat an eye. But that was alright. As long as he felt the heat of it, Jongin was a happy man. It was a loss his father wouldn’t show, only feel.

 

‘Of course I did, do you think Wonwoo doesn’t tell me things?’ Yuna ran a hand through her hair. Jongin chuckled.

 

‘Right. I forgot you were “best friends” with Jeon Wonwoo,’ Jongin rolled his eyes. ‘Have you guys fucked yet?’

 

Yuna blinked twice at him. ‘Why would we-’ she genuinely looked clueless, which amused Jongin even more but he couldn’t laugh too hard in front of her.

 

‘I forgot you’re not yet 16,’ he raised his eyebrows, feeling rather entertained at his untainted baby sister.

 

‘Why are you saying weird stuff,’ her voice faded, trying her best to ignore his strange remarks. ‘Have you not been eating rice?’

 

‘I’m fine,’ he insisted. ‘And I’m not drunk either,’

 

‘Really?’ she sounded inconvinced. There was a pause of silence between the two.

 

‘Aren’t you going to sleep?’

 

‘Not yet,’ she smiled. ‘I need to finish my notes,’

 

‘Ah, of course. Daddy’s girl,’

 

‘It’s not that,’ she chuckled.  ‘I just want to make sure I don’t fall back next year. It’s gonna cost me a lot even if I slack off a bit. I don’t want that to happen,’ she told him. Jongin gazed at his sister; the paler and longer-haired reflection of himself. She had grown a little. No longer was she the bright-faced cheerful kid. She looked calm and always pondering. It was amazing how much a short time can change people. She had eyes that saw a goal and ambitions, ambitions that didn't look like pleasant dreams. 

 

‘Don’t die out there,’ Jongin said.

 

‘I won’t,’ Yuna promised. ‘Come home for Christmas,’ she requested. ‘We could go to Mum’s house together,’

 

A sad smile formed on Jongin’s lips. ‘Yeah, we could.’ he nodded slowly. ‘We could,’ It was probably one of the only true joy in her life now. Jongin was gone, her mother was far away, and she was trapped in an intoxicating elite school. Jongin didn’t want to come back. It was suffocating in Seoul, but he really wanted to make this girl happy, without complicated circumstances. He missed her too, and maybe life would be a little less stressing if he hadn’t left, but he did. He’s grateful enough she accepted the path he chose and supported it completely. Sometimes he thought maybe it would be better if she hated him for leaving her like that. But she didn’t, and at very few occasions it bothers him though he knew her for the easily forgiving person that she is. After all, he wasn’t the only one she had let off that quickly.

 

*

 

‘You look like a lifeless rich woman who’s tired of her boring ass job,’ Wonwoo pulled his head out of his comic clasped between his fingers, glancing sideways to the floor from his bed. Yuna was lying on the wooden floor, tracing random shapes on the surface, pillowing her head with her other hand, her back facing Wonwoo. Her hair was sprawled behind her.

 

‘I _am_ lifeless,’ Yuna reminded him. Wonwoo snickered, sitting up and putting down his comic on his bed. ‘What happened?’ he crawled onto the floor, sitting behind her as he hung his head in front of her face. ‘Boo,’ he grinned and Yuna scoffed a laugh before she turned away Wonwoo’s face.

 

‘Nothing happened,’ she sighed.

 

‘That sounds depressing,’ he added before he turned and lied down facing her. Yuna meets Wonwoo’s dark eyes, shaded by his long fringe. He reaches a hand out to pull strands of hair falling into her eyes.

‘Do I look old to you?’ she asked out of innocent curiosity.

 

‘No,’ Wonwoo replied. ‘Isn’t your dad coming home?’

 

‘I don’t think so,’ Yuna tore her gaze away from him, clutching her hand out of the cold. ‘What time is it?’

 

‘9 something,’ he answered.

 

‘I wanna go cycling,’ she said.

 

Wonwoo kept staring at her for a while. ‘Have you eaten dinner yet?’

 

‘I had late lunch,’ she avoided his gaze. Wonwoo frowned. She half expected him to nag at her, but he didn’t.

 

‘Alright. Let’s go cycling,’ he leapt up, stretching his hand so that he could pull Yuna up too. Yuna obediently followed behind Wonwoo as he led her through the pedestrian roads in town, crossing bridges and cutting through parks. They exchanged very few words; Yuna was too distracted by the rush of the speed they both went. For once, she was faster than the pace that time ticked with. _No._ She was _timeless._ She was out of the cages of her room, no book in her hand but the handle of the bike, her fingers determining which direction she wanted to go.

 

The wind was cold against her reddening cheeks, against her sensitive lips. Her brows tightened, and she sped up her feet against the pedals. Her shoulders stiffened. She overtook Wonwoo within seconds just as they started approaching a street going downhill. He watched her speed in front of him, disappearing in a wiff at the corner ahead without much thought. She had always been athletic, and particularly fast. But as he watched her go on faster ahead of him, he started gaining speed too. They were entering an area she wasn’t familiar with, and Wonwoo could almost guarantee Yuna didn’t know where she was going. He was afraid; she looked like she wasn’t about to stop either.

 

She felt it; the hunger.

 

She saw something amidst the darkness that spread in front of her, the way darkness seemed to suck into a void, bordered by the lights from the lampposts that stands on opposite sides. She saw a different world. Or to be exact, _an escape._ She didn’t know what it offered her, where it would lead her. Deep down, she was still bound to the reality that feels everyday like a prison. But she was restless. Her feet didn’t want to stop, even though they would be tiredly dragging her back home once she’s snapped out of this. That was a different matter. For now, all she wanted to do was to run.

 

'Are you trying to cross districts?’ Wonwoo yelled into the cold night air as Yuna stopped beneath a bridge that connected the town road to the big highway. She was panting right by the side of a back road on the banks of a deserted stream, behind a row of closed shops. Her shoulders relaxed, her heart still beating fast from a sudden fast, long cycle. She kicked the pedal stand of her bike, letting it sit still before she got off. Wonwoo followed suit. 'We’re right at the edge of the city,’ he said as he looked around, then turning his gaze to Yuna, who had lowered her knees and was looking aimlessly out.

 

Her face was static and serious, despite the darkness, he could make out her flushed face by the orange beam of the lamppost by the bridge. She looked intolerant, pondering a little. She was unfocused, and Wonwoo was worried. He remembered not seeing her like that. Was it pity? She gave too little an insight of what her life was like now. The interchange she was going through in her closest surroundings was fast, something Wonwoo sometimes finds a little unbelievable. But it wasn’t like Yuna talks about it at all. Maybe that was the problem.

 

She doesn’t say anything anymore. But maybe because there was nothing to tell. What could she say? _‘My parents are taking me to Jeju this weekend!’ ?_ Was there anyone even at home now? Wonwoo kept glancing at her as they pulled their bikes at the roadside after crossing back their route by cycling. Yuna had her head low, and looked like she wasn’t about to remember that she hadn’t eaten for more than 12 hours. ‘Yunie?’ he called, and Yuna turned to him calmly, raising her eyebrows.

 

‘Yeah?’

 

‘Do you want to go grab a burger?’ he suggested.

 

Yuna nodded, but less than enthusiastically. They found a McDonalds to stop by on the way home, and Wonwoo had insisted on carrying all the food alone after ordering initiatively for the both of them, relying on his memories on what he thought she would like while she waited outside. He saw how distracted she was and Yuna was too tired to argue. ‘Do you wanna head home or-?’ he asked.

 

Yuna gave it a thought. ‘Wonwoo,’ she called. Wonwoo looked at her, waiting. ‘C-Can I-‘ she lowered her head. ‘Is it okay if I stay over at your place?’ she fiddled with the ends of her sleeves that his her hands. ‘I-I’ll sleep on the floor, I just-‘

 

‘Of course you can,’ he smiled, trying to hide a more excited heart. Wonwoo proposed a movie night, to which Yuna gladly agreed. He laid out all the food on his small study desk just in front of a television shared with his older brother Jisoo. He had played a classic horror movie; a genre that failed to make neither of the pair twitch let alone scared.

 

In fact they were both so calm that midway the movie, Wonwoo tilted his head, leaning them against Yuna’s shoulders. By the time the credits rolled and Yuna wanted to shift, she noticed the boy soundly sleeping, this time, his head on her thighs. The light beaming from the television lit up his face, and she traced his shut eyes. She sighed, stretching her hand to reach the remote before she switched off the television. Yuna inhaled the silence, the weight of his head on her lap before she leaned her head down to him.

 

‘Wonwoo,’ she whispered. He grunted when she softly patted his biceps. ‘It’s cold down here. Get on the bed, yeah?’ she told him before he exhaled, slowly getting up, consenting.

 

‘You’re not going to sleep on the floor are you? There’s still enough space here,’ he yawned, pointing to his bed. Yuna looked at him, at his body frame from behind as she sat down. _He’s grown a lot,_ she thought.

 

‘I need to use the bathroom,’ Yuna excused herself, taking out the trash from their dinner with her to throw away. After washing her face, Yuna came back into the room to a sleeping Wonwoo. She sat down on the floor by his bed for a while, just looking at him sleep. She garnered no emotion from it, no trickle of admiration as she made out the features of his face in detail. His fringe was so long it hid his closed eyes but she could see his pale face. A beautiful, still sleeper.

 

She liked him. She knew she did. To what extent, she still couldn’t confirm. But she knew he was the one she was the most comfortable with, the one she could share all sorts of secrets and play all sorts of games. That was good enough for her.

 

But she knew it wasn’t enough for him. She didn’t knew what it meant to love, but she was no person who liked pressure when it came to her emotions. If it wasn’t something to do with materialistic achievements, she forced herself to spare the stress. She knew he wanted more; he wanted a _real_ relationship. Ones portrayed by media. Ones with surprises, kisses and dreams. But Yuna wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t as simple as it seems, at least not mentally to her. Besides they were both still young. And if there really was such a thing like love, wouldn’t it not matter how long they progress?

 

Yuna slowly rose to her feet, grabbing her belongings. ‘Goodnight,’ she whispered before treading out the room and from the apartment without being noticed.

 

 

 

 


	9. Episode 8

Yuna was used to siting at the back during Chemistry class. In fact, in most classes, she kept to the back rows. The solitude vibe was a little stronger there, she found. The class was a little lively since for that particular period, there was no lesson, all dominated by experiments instead. Of course, being curious teenagers, they all liked witnessing scientific reactions of different chemicals and substances. What made it better was that their professor always made them carry it out themselves without much guidance. She would be sure to remind them of the safety precautions, but that was it.

Fifteen minutes before class ended, Yuna was in her seat, writing out a report on an experiment on hydrocarbons. Some were doing the same, some were just starting to clean up, some were discussing among themselves making sure they used the right words to explain every observation. The rather lively atmosphere of the lab was interrupted by a crashing sound. Everyone turned to the back of the class.

A girl had accidentally dropped a glass flask. She gasped. ‘Miss, I’m so sorry-‘

‘Did anything spill?’ the professor rose from her seat.

‘No, Miss.’ She answered.

‘Thank God. Be careful with that. Are you hurt?’ she asked. Yuna stood up, putting her pen down.

‘No,’ she immediately lowered herself to pick up the broken shattered pieces, before Yuna appeared in front of her, doing the same. ‘Thanks, Yuna.’ She whispered. Yuna smiled, catching the girl’s anxious expression.

‘Someone, get some old paper to wrap them in.’ the professor took charge. ‘The rest of you continue with your report,’ she put the students back into place. The class president came back after a short moment with two old newspapers, and the two girls on the floor picking up the glass pieces gratefully laid them carefully on the large parchment.

‘Yuna,’ the girl called, in a rather astonished tone. Yuna raised her head. Her eyes were wide. ‘You’re bleeding!’ she exclaimed as they both got to their feet, causing everyone to turn back. The professor gave a curious glance.

‘Go get that cleaned up at the infirmary,’ she ordered Yuna, and the latter nodded her head in consent, retreating to the sink at the back of the lab to wash down the blood that was already flowing out from a long line of a cut on her palm. Surprisingly, Yuna hadn’t felt anything at all. She looked down as the red liquid trickled, washed by the tap water. It was only then that she felt the slight pain, but she barely winced, let alone distracted or affected by it.

For some reason, the way the cold water seeped into the exposed flesh made her feel...oddly satisfied. Yuna bit her lips, turning the tap water off and grabbing some tissue to dry her hands and press against the cut so that the bleeding could stop while she made her quick way to the infirmary to get it plastered or bandaged properly.

 

*

‘I wish break was longer,’ Jinri sighed really loudly. ‘No, screw that.’ I need a real break,’ she speculated. ‘Away from my parents,’ she said. ‘They made me go for day classes, and at night cram school. I should be fucking dead already,’ her eyes widened as she scratched her head trying to answer a set of Geography questions. She glanced at Yuna, her natural intimidating glance. ‘What’s with that?’ she nodded at her right palm.

‘Someone broke a flask at the lab.’ She simply explained, sparing the details.

‘Doesn’t it hurt when you write?’ she asked, noting the fact that Yuna was right-handed. ‘So you won’t come for selection tomorrow?’

‘I will,’ she assured Jinri. ‘It’s just a small cut,’ she shrugged.

‘You _have_ to make it to the team for this year’s championship. _Again,_ ’ Jinri encouraged her. ‘Some of the juniors are pretty scary though,’ she scrunched her nose. Last year when they were juniors, Jinri and Yuna had swiftly caught the coach’s attention, and also the seniors. They landed themselves in the school team after small matches and managed to participate in an inter-school sports event. They came home with no prize, sadly, ranking 18th out of more than 40 schools. Their school has never exactly shined in anything related to extra-curricular. But for the both of them, that was fun enough. Getting on the team meant trips out of school and meeting other people from other schools. Something both Jinri and Yuna appreciated very much.

‘I-‘ Yuna was about to reply when her phone rang on her desk. She read the contact name on the screen before she picked up her phone and left the classroom, going out into the corridor. Jinri stared at her friend, holding her gaze. She wondered, and she was pessimistic. She had the right to be. It had been around a month ever since school started again and Yuna had seemed distant day by day.

Jinri knew of the divorce, of course. Yuna rarely received calls from any of her family members, which in a sense helped her focus for her studies, but at the same time, she kenw that part of her happiness was gone. She was nothing but a student. She felt nothing like anyone’s daughter anymore, and Jinri could see that.

Even during meal times when Jinri would ask her to join her to eat she would very little or not eat all. ‘I ate,’ she would say or, ‘I’m not hungry,’

Jinri couldn’t remember the last time Yuna ate so well, except that time her parents came bringing home cooked cold spicy noodles. She would think that Yuna was homesick, but who was there at home? She was probably homesick even when she was at home. _Or maybe she’s sick of school food,_ she considered the odds. Not that school food tasted bad but even Jinri gets queasy sometimes.

‘Hello?’ Yuna found a secluded spot to take the call at the end of the hallway.

‘11th December,’ her father said simply. ‘Mark it,’

‘For what?’ she leaned the side of her body against the wall, talking in a quiet voice.

‘You’re coming home. The wedding’s on the 12th,’ he informed. Yuna tried to remember the date that day. It was the 4th of October. The wedding would take place in two months’ time.

Yuna didn’t want to give it much thought. She shrugged it off as uninteresting and boring rather than loathing. She knew she would be the only closest kin to attend. The mother would of course not be invited, her father wouldn’t even bother considering inviting Jongin, since he knew his son would reject it wholeheartedly anyway. He hated the broken family; he wouldn’t spare a ticket back home just to witness another woman marry into the family. Not even for Yuna.

‘Sure,’ she merely said. ‘And then afterwards you’ll be off for your-‘ she cleared her throat. ‘-honeymoon I suppose?’ she inquired.

‘A month,’ he answered. ‘You’ll be in school where it’s safe,’

‘Of course,’ she couldn’t be anymore happier.

‘Take a day off to find something pretty to wear. I banked in more than enough money into your account,’ he ordered her. Yuna rolled her eyes. ‘I expect the best of you there,’

Yuna hung up without a goodbye nor a goodnight. She wanted so much to contact her brother or mother, but it was a depressing topic; it was only fair she didn’t remind them of the family that was breaking right before their eyes. It was going to be a new beginning, she told herself. Several meetings with the new fiancée of her fathers proved to be interesting, for the both of them were interesting women with deep thoughts and more than just materialistic dreams. Yuna could see the love in the woman’s eyes when she looks at her fathers but no matter what it was still foreign. No matter what it still wasn’t her mother’s eyes.

And all Jongin could care for was that she had been in the scene even before the divorce.

The next day Yuna only focused on the selection; it was one of her very few minor escapes. Fortunately the cut on her hand did little to distract her. The sting was still there, but it was slight and she got the hang of using her left hand.

Thanks to self-practice, she was listed in the main team for the upcoming inter-school tournament as part of the offense line. She was very delighted to have been chosen, but warily, Yuna noticed she wasn’t the only one who favoured the outcomes.

The coach was too overwhelmed by her amazing individual show he could barely control his slight flirts. She was more energetic and focused than usual he knew she impressed everyone who watched. She just _had_ to be on the team. He barely knows what drove her to perform so well that day, or whether she had been practicing alone every day but honestly, something inside him made him…conflicted.

Scared? He wasn’t too sure. But it did make him attracted in a way that was different than how he had always been attracted to her all this while. And for once, he didn’t even think about talking to her alone after practice.

 

*

‘Hey,’ Jinri entered Yuna’s dorm room after two knocks. Yuna was on her knees in front of her bed, with a small carrier bag beside her. She gave her visitor a warm smile before continuing to pack clothes into her bag. The tournament was set at a district two hours away from their school and that meant a minor getaway.

‘Have you finished packing?’ Yuna asked.

‘Yeah,’ Jinri nodded, carrying a plastic container that smelled much like food. She placed on Yuna’s study desk. ‘I got you rice rolls,’ she said. ‘You looked pretty sick just now,’ she added.

‘Really?’ Yuna didn’t want to turn to her.

‘You were really pale,’ Jinri pointed out as she sat down on Yuna’s chair. ‘You can’t just skip meals like that you know,’ she advised. She noticed the thinning arms and cheeks that were becoming less and less obvious. ‘Especially not on practice days.’

‘I-‘

‘Drinking three bottles of water isn’t enough, alright?’ Jinri cut her off, knowing her friend’s habit of staying hydrated. It was good, but it wasn’t enough. She sighed, brows tightening in a sad, sympathetic way. ‘I know…you’re having a really hard time right now. I rarely see you in a genuinely good mood anymore, not even during practice. I don’t know if it’s coach or what but-‘ she paused. ‘-please don’t starve yourself like that. I’m not asking you to tell me anything. I know it’s personal and it’s fine but at the very least be healthy. Especially this week since we’ll practice all day,’

Yuna listened intently, taking it all in. She felt bad, of course she did. She thought she was swift enough for Jinri not to notice but who was she kidding. Jinri was well informed in sports sciences, not to mention she’s her best friend. Of course she would notice that Yuna’s a little lethargic these recent days. She couldn’t bring herself to eat because she kept feeling sick and starving just seemed like a better option than eating and throwing up again just because everything in her life was stressing her guts out. ‘I’m sorry,’ Yuna hung her head low.

‘Don’t be. Whatever you feel like you want to eat just say it. We’ll look for it together. School food sucks, I know. No wonder you’re not eating that much anymore,’ she shrugged.

Yuna let out a small laugh, turning to her friend. She got up. ‘I’m sorry I’ve been distant or-’ she shook her head. ‘You’re the only person I ever look forward to seeing nowadays, you know.’ She admitted. ‘So thank you. I’d probably die if you weren’t here,’ she pulled Jinri into a hug.

‘You’re exaggerating,’ Jinri laughed.

‘I’m not, I swear.’ Yuna grinned. ‘I hate giving half-hearted compliments,’ she tightened her embrace. ‘Let’s get bronze at least this time,’

‘Bronze,’ Jinri repeated. ‘Let’s,’ she pulled back. ‘Now, sit down and eat. Please? You don’t have to finish it, but I know you’re hungry right now,’

Yuna consented. ‘Did your mum make this?’ she asked as she took Jinri’s seat.

‘Of course, why else would tell you to eat it. It’s the only food you’ve eaten ever since school started.’

‘Her cooking’s really tasty,’ Yuna’s cheeks rose with colour.

Jinri wasn’t sure whether to feel sad or proud; whether she sounded like an appreciative friend or a girl who hasn’t tasted food from a mother’s hands for so long. It was such a thin line, she thought as she watched Yuna slowly eat, savouring the food. The two possibilities were so contrasting, and Jinri wished her mother could come more often just so she could feed the girl.

She sighed.

_How life turns around in one night._

 

*

 

If there was a word that could describe Wonwoo’s life from a general viewpoint, he would choose ‘bland’. It was midnight and he had returned to the company to practice on his drums since he had nothing better to do. Well, technically, he did, he thought of his upcoming quizzes that he had wholeheartedly decided not to make an effort to study for. It wasn’t important anyway. He was going to make it big as a musician. Good exam grades would do very little to him, he assumed. His mother would be raging mad if she knew, which was why he always resorted to coming home late from practice.

 _She must be different,_ Wonwoo’s hands subconsciously slowed down hitting the drums. _Of course she is,_ he thought as Yuna’s face formed in his head. Yuna’s serious face. She always had a bright future ahead of her, he was sure of it. She had always excelled in everything, she was the model kid every parent dreamt of having; it was a wonder how her father felt very little pride for his daughter. She’s been too busy with studies she only ever calls back or replies to his texts twice in a week and no more.

But Wonwoo was a little lucky that night.

His phone rang from inside his bag and he scurried in a rush. Boy, was he overwhelmed to see her contacts on the screen of his phone. He had missed call her last night since he hadn’t heard from her for so long it was distracting him.

‘Hey,’ he heard her voice from the other side of the line. ‘I’m sorry I called back so late,’ she said.

‘It’s fine,’ he replied. ‘Are you busy right now?’

‘I just got out of class. I’m going to go study a bit more later. But I’m free to talk right now,’ she said cheerily. ‘Are you practicing?’

‘Just playing with my drums,’ he kept flipping the drum sticks in between his fingers repeatedly. ‘When are you getting back here?’

‘Not in a long time,’ Yuna’s voice receded. ‘We don’t have any holidays. But I’ll be close by,’ she informed him. Wonwoo hung his head low in slight disappointment. ‘My dad’s remarrying,’

‘So soon?’ Wonwoo was slightly surprised. ‘I want to see you,’ Yuna could hear the longing in his voice, and it made her feel bad, though she could barely do much.

‘Me too,’ she said. ‘Two months; it won’t be that long.’ She tried to convince him.

‘It’s long to me,’ Wonwoo answered. ‘How are you going to get back home?’

‘I won’t be coming home,’ she felt a little heavy inside as she said this.

‘Why not?’ he felt more upset.

‘Dad’s wedding is going to be in Incheon. It’s going to be more than an hour’s drive from home,’

Wonwoo wanted to punch a wall. ‘What about Christmas?’

‘I only get to come home if Jongin comes back. He hasn’t texted me back yet. If he doesn’t there’ll be no one at home,’

‘I am,’ Wonwoo told her. _I’m home. I’m always home._ Yuna paused on the other side of the line. _He’s home. He’s my home,_ she said to herself. Who else did she have besides him over there? Besides Soojung?

‘Yeah. Maybe I could come back and spend Christmas with you,’ she was attracted to the idea. ‘I’ll try to come home,’ she promised him.

‘Really?’

‘Really,’ she told him. ‘You’ll be there, won’t you?’

A smile formed on Wonwoo’s lips.

 

‘Always,’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Episode 9

Jinri had slipped to the second back row of seats after sprinting into the bus as the lead of the queue, still standing because she wanted to save the neighbouring space for Yuna. She watched as her volleyball teammates noisily boarded the bus, followed by East High’s pride; the soccer boys who had successfully made it through preliminary rounds. Everyone was hopeful they would bring back a medal. It was the only team the school was good at, despite the emphasis on academic aspects. Jinri didn’t like the lot; most of them were pretty cocky to her, snobbish no less.

She recognized one face, and she tried her best not to stare or look too uninterested. A tall boy with smiling eyes and a smirk plopped into a seat several rows in front of her. Kim Sangwoon was Yuna’s cousin, a relative she wasn’t close to, frankly. ‘Fill in the seats at the back!’ Jinri heard the coach bellow from the front of the bus. Yuna was stuck at the back of the line because Coach had made her do head count and check everyone was present. ‘Choi, is that seat empty?’ he called out to Jinri.

‘It’s for-‘

‘You go sit there,’ he directed one boy to the back of the bus.

Jinri raised an annoyed eyebrow at him as she saw the by walking towards her row. She sat down, just after catching a glance of guilty Yuna who looked anxious near Coach. ‘Bitch,’ Jinri murmured as she sighed. She knew it was a small matter, but the fact that Coach was being far too obvious irritated her. She knew his intentions. Heck, how many times had Coach dropped signs? Yuna had been ordered to collect names and bib sizes for the whole volleyball team.  Not to mention Coach even asked if she thought the design was pretty even after asking for majority votes of the team.

The girl barely says anything anymore; it’s infuriating to think that Yuna has gone through even more similar encounters with the Coach behind Jinri’s back but she was too reserved and selfless to care what she thinks. She didn’t want to make Jinri pissed anymore. She’s wary of Coach Hwang; he hasn’t done anything to Yuna yet, as far as she knew, but the moment he did Jinri would snap.

’41, 42, 43.’ Yuna counted under her breath. ‘Everyone’s here,’ she reported to Coach Hwang.

‘Alright,’ he signalled the driver that they could depart. ‘Take a seat,’ he turned to Yuna, and the girl gave a weak smile, trying to catch a glimpse of Jinri but the latter had already sat down. She reluctantly slipped to the window seat and sat down, and Coach Hwang followed suit. Yuna resorted to busying herself the whole two hours of the journey. She took out her phone, checking her notifications.

 

From: Jinri

I swear he did that on purpose. That freak.

 

Yuna chuckled to herself.

 

To: Jinri

Earphones on so that he doesn’t talk to me.

 

From: Jinri

He better not get any ideas I swear he is one problematic perverted paedophiliac I’M JUST SO UGH

 

‘You look a little tired today,’ Yuna heard the Coach beside her before she could begin to reach into the pockets of her pants for her earphones.

‘Yeah,’ Yuna didn’t exactly agree, but she didn’t want to drag the conversation further. She leaned her head against the window, pulling her earphones out.

‘You can lean on me if you want to sleep,’ the man suggested. Yuna paused, turning to face him. He was smiling, genuinely. _Of course he looks genuine. He **thinks** he’s genuine. They always think they’re genuine. I guess they are; genuine in their own selfish desires. _She smiles back, hiding her slightly appalled thoughts before she decides they’re not worth showing to him.

‘Thanks, but it’s okay.’ She replied. Yuna was in for another surprise when Coach Hwang took her right hand gently, examining the bandaged limb.

‘It looks like it hurts you know,’

‘Not too much,’ she assured him as she pulled her hand away. His voice was significantly softer when speaking to her, and she had noticed for such a long time. It held more compassion, more interest, _passion._

Hwang looked at her, traced her raw, deep eyes before she looked away, stuffing the buds of her earphones into her ears. He had more to say. Oh, he always had more to say to her. Just her. _How is she even sixteen?_ He thought to himself. He had checked through her student files to find even more impressive things about her. About how she had skipped a grade, so she was a year younger than her other peers of the same class. How she topped her Music class besides English and Biology.

Despite her rash acting skills to appear calm and unbothered, Yuna truthfully felt anxious and uncomfortable sitting next to Hwang. She cleared her throat, trying to drown in her playlist of songs she had carefully compiled.

But her fear ceased when her phone vibrated again.

 

From: Wonwoo

Yunie, have you departed yet? I’m so sorry I woke up late.

 

Yuna hid a giggle. She didn’t want to raise suspicion with Hwang. It was bad enough she had to sit next to him, and now that he’s gotten very comfortable with making her his ‘assistant’ as he calls it. She knew he was going to make her busy with him once they arrive.

 

To: Wonwoo

Just departed. Morning, sloth. Did you sleep late?

 

From: Wonwoo

WHY A SLOTH?? And yeah, I slept at 4 last night. My head hurts so much, Yunie, I don’t even want to get up.

 

To: Wonwoo

You just ARE a sloth. Aww, you should get up, take a bath and get something to eat. You always feel better after you eat.

 

From: Wonwoo

I don’t know what to eat.

 

To: Wonwoo

Go order chicken or pizza, or maybe you could make instant noodles?

 

From: Wonwoo

Can I eat you?

 

Yuna almost snorted as she read Wonwoo’s message.

 

To: Wonwoo

You wish, honey.

 

From: Wonwoo

Why do you have to fail my lines…

 

To: Wonwoo

Don’t hate me.

 

From: Wonwoo

Can I love you then?

 

Yuna looked to the window, rubbing her lips together. In perfect convenience, one of her brother’s favourites, Artic Monkeys’ “Hold On We’re Going Home” echoes in her ears. Her heart skipped a beat, and she almost stifles a small laugh, but she held it in. She doesn’t want Wonwoo to know. She never tells Wonwoo when her heart skips a beat. She doesn’t want to; it would make her vulnerable in front of him.

_I got my eyes on you_

_You’re everything that I need_

_I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly_

It felt like a game to her, although she knew all Wonwoo was doing was being himself; an expressive, honest boy in love. He needs not poetic lines or lyrical quotes. The only thing he needs are his desires, and an able mind to translate them. Albeit his tendencies to make her feel such things, Yuna savours the brief, few moments of defeat, the moments of losing to Wonwoo’s feet. She liked it, she did. Wonwoo just doesn’t know he’s winning.

_Just hold on we’re going home_

She _wished_ she was home. Yuna put away her phone, delving deeper into the music as she leaned her head by the window, smiling to herself.  She didn’t know what to reply and she was too sleepy to think so she’ll reply him later.

 

*

 

Wonwoo still had not gotten up from his bed yet. He was lying down, shirtless on the comfort of his mattress, looking up at the screen of his phone, waiting for a reply.

 _She probably has things to do._ He said to himself. _Always busy._

He slipped his phone under his pillow, too sleepy to get up, despite it being 9 in the morning already. He should get to school, he figured. He had missed almost three days last week due to a recording. The debut of his band was looking bright and he had gotten even busier as days passed. There was the preparation for promotions, schedules, plans; there was just a lot Wonwoo alone had to think about, but he was ready for this.

He leapt up out of bed after reluctantly convincing himself he should try to be at school. After all, it had been a while since he last saw his endeared close friends. His wrecked lot. Coming to school late wouldn’t hurt that much either, especially not when he goes to the infamous School of Performing Arts, where everyone’s dreams _is_ to debut like he was about to in several months’ time, by the end of this year, the CEO had announced to them. He had marked it on his calendar and Wonwoo wouldn’t like to tolerate with late promises.

Those who knew Jeon Wonwoo was glad to see him passing through the corridor during lunchtime, heading towards his classroom. Some were smiling, some were turning their heads away and giggling. Being a trainee and one of the best drummers in school gave him a reputation, and it gave him fame.

‘Hey,’ he heard a girl’s voice coming from behind him and Wonwoo turned around.

‘Hi,’ Wonwoo was slightly surprised to see Yoo Haru, also another trainee from a renowned agency. Significantly shorter than him and of petite size, Haru bore long blonde hair and the body every girl wanted to have. After all, her lively beauty and body had earned her a title as a rookie model. She’s appeared several times in fashion magazines, posing for one or two well-known brands. She even modelled for the school uniform, and on a daily basis, showed her keen effort to stay prim and pretty, even in school.

‘I heard,’ she smiled. ‘Congratulations,’ she said. Haru was of the same age as Wonwoo, but was in a different class.

‘Thanks,’ Wonwoo had nothing else to say. He wasn’t particularly close to Haru but they have spoken during several occasions. She _is_ pretty to him. She was pretty to everyone.

‘Were you practicing last night?’ she asked as she scurried to his side, trying to keep up with his pace.

‘Yeah,’ he answered.

‘It’ll be a shame then. I won’t see you as often now,’ Haru expressed. Wonwoo stopped.

‘Why do you sound sad?’ he was curious. She looked up at him, her big eyes bearing emotions Wonwoo couldn’t exactly decipher.

‘I, well-‘

‘I won’t disappear,’ he grinned. ‘Don’t worry about it,’ he ran a hand through his hair before he hurried away. Haru watched him go, smiling to herself.

‘I hope not,’ she muttered to herself, going around the other way.

 

*

 

‘Hey! Hey! Hey!’ Jang Doyoon sprang up from his seat and pulled an arm around Wonwoo’s shoulder, yanking him to the latter’s seat at the back of the class. He was a fair-skinned boys with a pair of happy eyes ‘Haven’t seen your ugly ass in a while!’ he ruffled the other’s hair and Wonwoo was laughing as he struggled to get out of Doyoon’s grip. Mingming was in his seat beside Wonwoo’s, smirking to himself as he watched the ordeal.

They spent the next classes not exactly focusing, only wishing for it to end, and when the bell finally rang Doyoon had made the two follow him to their favourite hangout place. The boys particularly liked coming to a set of run-down apartment buildings at the edge of the city. They didn’t live there, but they liked climbing up to the roof and having a smoke. There wasn’t much of a view either up there but it made them feel cosy.

They made themselves feel comfortable on thrown away couches and chairs that were dumped there for some reason. The three became quiet for a moment, each of them with a lit cigarette clasped between their teeth. Wonwoo was leaning against the couch, Mingming was sitting on a stool, throwing a worn dirty tennis ball he had found as he came up there repeatedly. Doyoon was pacing around as if his feet was moving to some kind of beat.

‘By the way, Jeon.’ Doyoon called. ‘Are you hooking with Haru?’

Wonwoo shot him a confused glare. ‘Why?’ he was curious how that even became a question.

Doyoon shrug, shaking it off. ‘She kept asking about you when you weren’t around. Probably fancies you,’

‘Tsk,’ Wonwoo scoffed, inhaling from his cigarette before he puffed it out, feeling content.

‘Jeon has another sweetheart,’ Mingming chuckled as he threw the ball at Wonwoo, but the latter avoided it just as swiftly.

‘Oh, yeah.’ Doyoon smirked, lifting himself. ‘What’s her name? Yunie?’

‘Yuna,’ Mingming corrected her, much to Wonwoo’s relief. _Noone else gets to call her Yunie except me._

‘Well, what’s up with her then? You didn’t tell us you were dating,’

‘I’m not,’

Doyoon paused for several seconds and Wonwoo smiled to him. ‘Still…?‘ he meant to say _still trying to get her but she’s not responding?_

‘Yeah,’ Wonwoo answered.

‘Kind of a long wait, isn’t it?’

‘She’s worth it,’ he told Doyoon. Doyoon smiled back at him; he wasn’t fond of listening to Wonwoo’s sad unrequited love story. He has nothing against Yuna; he barely knew the girl but for some reason she sounded like any other girl who liked playing deeper into the game just to twist Wonwoo around her finger.

Mingming kept quiet. Unlike the two, he had a girlfriend, and he was very much happy with her as he was with them. Genuinely happy. He didn’t think it was much of a problem if Wonwoo chose to wait. Good things are always worth the wait, and he wanted to believe Yuna is as good as Wonwoo made her sound.

Doyoon shrugged it off, looking out the uninteresting view below. _Oh well,_ he thought. The wind was colder up fifteen floors above ground floor. He wasn’t sure what exactly was he looking at. Beyond had nothing more but rows of more run-down apartments, some had railing lines running from one window to another across the neighbouring building. In between the gaps Doyoon could see the suspended train track outline the sunset that spilled the white canvas of the sky in orange hues.

_Love is always a game._

 


End file.
